


Hardest of Hearts

by for_autumn_i_am



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Emotions, Explicit Consent, Force Hugs, Good Ol' Anal Sex, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, No mpreg, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Post-TLJ, Semi-Public Sex, Shore Leave, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 21:12:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_autumn_i_am/pseuds/for_autumn_i_am
Summary: Grand Marshal Hux forgot to take his suppressants, so he goes on sick leave to Arkanis to weather through his untimely heat. Eligible alpha Supreme Leader Ren accompanies him out of the goodness of his heart.





	Hardest of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jeusus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeusus/gifts).



> Please refer to **content warnings** in the endnotes. Note that there's a NSFW image included in the text.

It began with the dreams.

Kylo refused to think of them as visions.

They had only started when he was twenty-four, and they only happened while he was unconscious. It wasn't like he was _destined_  to have prophetic insights about Hux's petite ass.

And yet the ass had been featuring heavily. The greatest hits also included details about Hux’s long legs, tiny nipples, the capacity of his mouth (which could evidently fit the entirety of Kylo’s knot). Other dreams were calm. Domestic. It showed them by the dinner table, arguing cheerfully while wolfing down rations. Chilling on Hux’s ice blue couch. Shaving side by side. Stargazing. Explosion-ogling. Waltzing through a battlefield hand in hand. A kiss pressed to his forehead before he climbed into his TIE. Something _else_  done to his lightsaber.

He didn’t have these dreams every night; just often enough to start to eye Hux, furious and suspicious, wondering how he weaseled his way into the sanctuary of Kylo’s mind. He decided not to bring the problem to Snoke’s attention. He could deal with it on his own.

The dreams were absurd. Ludrcious. Hux hated him. He hated Hux. He wouldn’t turn down a quicky, but it’s not like Hux ever _offered_  anything, which was kinda insulting. Of course, they were both alphas, and alphas weren’t compatible; the example of his m— _Leia Organa_ and Amilyn Holdo was burned into his mind. Still. Blowjobs had been invented. Hux never so much as initiated a handy though, the stuck-up bastard.

The stuck-up bastard whom he kept dreaming about even after Snoke’s falling and the regime change.

The stuck-up bastard who was staring at him unblinking, while Kylo’s ears were ringing.

“Repeat yourself,” he said, very slowly.

Hux scowled at him. They were in Kylo’s spacious office on the Supremacy II: upright consoles blinking in the gloom, one neglected chair, an obscure statue. Kylo despised idleness and splendor. He despised Hux more. He could throttle him. He vowed he wouldn’t. Not ever again. He could though.

“As I was _saying_ ,” Hux gritted, “I request four cycle’s worth of shore leave, starting promptly.”

“Repeat what you said after that,” Kylo insisted.

Hux arched an eyebrow in mock-concern. “Is your hearing failing, Supreme Leader?”

“ _What you said_.”

“My reasons being—”

“You said you were going into heat,” Kylo interrupted. “That’s impossible.”

A sharp, feverish scent was rolling off of Hux as they talked, endlessly arousing and terribly inconvenient.

“I told you that I forgot to administer the suppressant stem,” Hux said. “I explained that my regrettable slip-up was due to chronic fatigue, which I have been recently diagnosed with; the medbay could also confirm that I am indeed going into heat. What else do you need to know?”

“But you’re an alpha,” Kylo said numbly, gripping the edge of a console. Hux was standing on the other side of it; between them, the projection of their empire.

“That’s what my profile says,” Hux admitted. “As you can imagine, Snoke didn’t want to advertise. He thought it a weakness.” His nose twitched.

“I never—” Kylo began.

“Of course you never noticed it, it’s the first time I’ve failed to—”

“Why do you want to _leave_?” Kylo asked, mind racing. Hux’s ass had always been _suspiciously_ slick in his dreams, but he always assumed they just used a nice amount of lube and his brain decided to skip that part. He also assumed that Hux’s cock was smallish and funny because of internalised envy. Besides. They were just _dreams._ And they never even had kids in them. Surely, Hux would want heirs?

“I don’t know about the suppressant _you_ use,” Hux said, “but omega hormone suppressants must be administered every twenty-one cycles, directly before one would go into heat; you miss the dose, you miss the window of opportunity. We can’t cheat biology easily. You must realise that my altered state would make me unfit for work.”

“So you want a little holiday,” Kylo growled, irrationally jealous. “Go to the beach, grab some cock—”

“Excuse me!”

“—Cocktails, get a nice tan, all on my expense—”

“Excuse _me,_ it falls into the category of paid sick leave,” Hux said, adjusting his greatcoat. Kylo glared at the rank insignia on his sleeves. Ungrateful little bitch. “And I don’t tan. Nobody does on Arkanis.”

“Why Arkanis?”

“It has _luibheanna_ , special herbs that ease the worst of the symptoms. I can’t exactly order a shipment without people finding out about—”

Kylo missed the rest of the explanation, shocked by how Hux pronounced that foreign word, a sing-song roll with deep vowels, and how the accent lingered on the following part of the sentence, _special herbs._  He’s never heard Hux speak anything but Basic. He always used protocol droids.

“I’d take guards, obviously,” Hux was saying when Kylo tuned back in. “MM-6542 and ZT-7918 are top of their classes.”

And there it was again: jealousy. Protective, enraged, tormenting. Hux had already made his _pick_. He’d leave and take his golden boys with him. A rational part of Kylo’s mind knew that Hux would never mingle with stormtroopers; that part was silenced by the animal rage of his oncoming rut.

Well. He was Supreme Leader. He had every right to skip suppressants if he damn well pleased. He knew how to control himself; it’s what he’s been doing his whole life. He looked Hux up and down, trying to get a grip on reality. It was entirely possible he was hallucinating.

“I’m coming with you,” he told Hux.

It was a fair, no, a _generous_ offer. He couldn’t trust Hux with anyone else. Hux was valuable. Valuable things needed protection. It had nothing to do with how nice Hux smelled. Or the freckles on his inner thighs. None of that. Kylo was a professional.

“Supreme Leader—” Hux yapped.

“It’s for the good of the Order,” Kylo pressed on. “I can’t allow you to get caught with some upstart alpha. That’d be an absolute disgrace.”

Hux scoffed with an ugly frown, pulling up to his full height to _beg to differ._  So this was the game he chose to play. Kylo knew there’d be only one way out: to blackmail Hux into obedience.

“You have falsified data on your profile,” he said slowly and meaningfully, adding a hint of phony sympathy as he tilted his head. Hux looked ready to bite him in the not-fun way. “You didn’t follow protocol with your request; you’d need an Approved Absence form signed by your supervisor and physician.” He got that information from Hux’s mind, who just thought about it in his fury, cornered by his own bureaucratic measures. “How am I to let you out of my sight like this?”

“You know I can’t hand it in in writing,” Hux said sternly. “My secondary gender is kept off-record for a reason.”

“It’s decided, then,” Kylo said. “I’ll accompany you personally to ensure your safety, and it’s not up for debate. Pack your bags, Grand Marshal.”

Hux bared his teeth, but bowed his head.

*  

Arkanis looked depressing. It was a surprisingly small green and blue blob of a planet with two moons and a sick little star shining in the distance. Tatooine and Geonosis were looming nearby just to remind everyone how awful this sector was.

“Awesome,” Kylo said, second-guessing his decision to come here. He didn’t need to turn to Hux to feel that he was glaring daggers at him, or possibly playing with the idea of testing the hidden blades in his coat sleeves on Kylo’s neck.

Kylo was affronted. This was obviously a great sacrifice from him. He could’ve stayed on the Supremacy II. He could’ve forbidden Hux to come. Hux never thanked him for permitting the visit.

“Get ready for landing,” Kylo told their pilot as he leaned back in his seat, half-expecting Hux to repeat the order. He was silent. Sulking, probably. Kylo glanced at him fleetingly, then did a double-take: Hux’s cheeks could have been described as “rosy,” and he appeared to be short of breath.

“Everything all right?” Kylo asked. Hux’s nose twitched.

“Don’t talk to me,” he gritted.

“Don’t talk to me _sir_ , Kylo corrected automatically.

Oh, it was lovely. Hux was _actually_  going into heat—stumbling into it, more precisely; he was safely strapped in, but he was squirming in his seat, gripping the handrail and biting his lips to keep the panting to a bare minimum. It was still audible. Being near an alpha probably made his symptoms worse.

“We’ll be there shortly,” Kylo said reassuringly, making Hux groan. It had an erotic edge.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Hux managed to force out. “You shouldn’t have left your post for this nonsense, and—”

“I—”

“—I’m saying this as your official advisor.”

“ _I’m_  the government,” Kylo hissed, gripping the handrails. A violent tremble shook the ship as they broke atmo and zoomed through the heavy clouds.

“We are,” Hux mumbled.

“What?”

“We are the government. It’s a team effort.”

Kylo turned to look at him again. Hux was keeping his eyes on the rain-beaten windshield. “The point is that I don’t have a post,” he said slowly. “The government is wherever I am. I saw it fit to be near my _official advisor.”_

Hux scoffed, then pretended he was just clearing his throat. Their pilot looked ready to fly straight into the ocean below them and welcome the sweet embrace of a watery death. He didn’t matter.

“You’re here for work related reasons,” Hux said. “ _You._ ”

“I take pride in my job.”

“Your job? Your job, _sir_? Does being here automatically make you better with legislation? Are you looking for inspiration in the clouds of where to station our troops? Will a monsoon help you figure out your taxes?”

“As Supreme Leader, I don’t deem it necessary to pay—”  

“Bloody stars, we’ve been through this!”

“Then why are you asking?”

“You _must_ pay taxes!” Hux yelled. It made something tighten in Kylo’s chest. This was it. This was what he would’ve been so bored without. What he needed more of. What had to be protected.

“Then do my calculations for me,” he said slowly, sweetly, making his words drip with honey, “because I don’t care about taxes.” Hux met his eyes, so he added in a whisper, “I can’t be bothered.”

“You’re taking the piss,” Hux said.

Kylo wetted his lips. “Am I?”

“Stop it. It’s not funny. No one is laughing.”

The pilot’s shoulders were shaking, but Kylo guessed mortal dread, not amusement. He pulled his datapad to him with the Force and unlocked the screen with a dramatic swipe.

Hux waited about five seconds before asking, “What exactly are you doing?”

“Sending you my proposal to voluntarily pay income and capital gains tax,” Kylo said. “I completed it about three cycles ago, care to take a look? You know. As my official—”

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, that would’ve been treason and mildly unpleasant on my part.”

“Not treason. Not then. Not yet.”

Kylo arched a brow, and hit _send._ Hux flinched at the notification buzz.

*

Arkanis wasn’t any more charming up-close. They landed in a hangar with strenuous safety measures and a transparent ceiling opening up to a furious sky. They’d been escorted by guards right into a thunderstorm. Visibility was so low that Kylo couldn’t make out anything but the vague shapes of buildings through the thick mist, sensing thousands of life forms around. This must have been the capital. _This._

The rain tapped on the betaplast armour of their faceless guards, matching the rhythm of their march. Kylo expertly made a cowl out of  his cape and used the Force to deflect the drops just to show he could. He was a bit worried for Hux. He had put on his command cap, but it didn’t help him much; his sideburns were soaked and sad.

They were led to a sleek little hovercraft with a droid pilot. Kylo sighed contently as he climbed onto the heated leather seat.

“Can’t wait to be out of the water,” he announced.

“Right, we’re going to an underwater hotel, so no such luck,” Hux said as he took the backseat. “At least you’ll be dry.”

“Oh, more water?” Kylo grunted, eyeing the storm with distaste. “Whose genius idea—wait, I think I can guess.”

“Underwater hotels are cheap, safe, and discreet,” Hux said. The droid powered on the engine. The guards saluted them as they took off; Kylo nodded towards them.

“You know all about discretion. I thought this was supposed to be a covert mission.”

“How insightful, Supreme Leader. No, that’d be impossible.”

“Why exactly?”

“You’re the Supreme Leader,” Hux said as if he was sharing a secret. A shameful one. “This is one of the most loyal Imperial planets. They’d recognise their leader anywhere.” He wiggled a bit as he added, “They also recognise me. We only have to be careful about…Operation Medicine.”

“Right,” Kylo muttered. The rearview mirror showed Hux wiggling again, and then blinking in quick succession with an alarmed expression. His little hole must have been all slicked up by now. Kylo’s cock stiffened at the thought. He tactfully put his datapad over his lap.

“I could’ve crafted an alibi easier if I was on my own,” Hux said mournfully. “There’s nothing odd about visiting one’s home planet. They’ll be wondering why you are here.”

“It’s none of their business. Don’t forget to wipe the memory of the droid once we arrive, while we’re at it.”

The droid made a sad beep.

“I’m dreadfully sorry,” Hux told it. “It’s for precaution, you see.”

Kylo shot them a quick glance and turned to watch the view. But there was no view; there was only rain and green lightning.

He’d always been bothered about how nice Hux was with droids. It showed him capable of basic human decency. Something he had hardly shown to Kylo. He might’ve been getting jealous again. He grinded his teeth and looked into the eyes of his reflection.

_You’re better than this. This is an investigation. You will learn the precise nature of your baffling connection to Hux. Knowing that he’s an omega is just a reminder of what you can’t have. You’re doing him a favor in protecting him and you won’t have anything in return but clarity. Focus on that. You’re above basic instinct._

It sounded reasonable. It also sounded like something Snoke would say. He squeezed his eyes shut.

*

The rooms were better than expected: small but clean, and the furniture a stark, sturdy design. None of that nautical-themed banthashit Kylo associated with hotels anywhere near a body of water. It didn’t look much different from the rooms on the Finalizer, with the exception that the floor-length windows opened up to the blinding blue of the sea. Kylo watched a shoal of fish swim past, then crossed the black-and-white refresher that connected his room to Hux’s. He found him unloading the contents of his bag onto the bed in an uncharacteristic frenzy.

“It’s all your fault,” Hux barked.

Kylo hummed, amused, and leaned against the refresher door. “Hullo to you too, neighbor.”

“I forgot to bring pyjamas because of—you,” Hux said. His hair was a bright orange in the glow of the sea, and he was adorably flushed.

Finding Hux cute didn’t mean that Kylo’s control was slipping. He always found him charming, rut or not, when he was being this annoyed and fussy. It was one of the many joys of riling him up.

He decided to be generous, and called a T-shirt to his hand; it came flowing through the air, and made Hux stop his frantic unpacking.

“What’s that?” he asked, face scrunching up.

“I prefer to sleep shirtless anyway, you can keep it.”

Kylo tossed it to him manually. Hux frowned and read under his breath, “‘My friend went to Ord Mantell and all I got was this stupid shirt.’ Who’s the friend?”

“Nobody,” Kylo said, shrugging a shoulder. “I needed to be undercover, grabbed the first shirt that made me look like a tourist.”

“You kept it.”

“It’s very soft.”  

Hux put his face to it as if to test whether Kylo was lying. “It doesn’t smell of you,” he said, and shot Kylo an uncertain glance. He didn’t know what to make of it.

“I heard the prices of Hosnian system themed tourist shirts are already going up,” he babbled. “Some find it morbid. Same happened with Alderaan. Kitschy memorabilia and ugly hats sold for millions.”

“Huh,” Hux said, still feeling the material. “Never heard about it.”

“Sellers say it’s to honour history. Deep down they know better.”

“You can still see the Hosnian system from here,” Hux mused, peeking at the windows reflexively. They only showed an iridescent blue, not the vastness of space. “When the skies are clear. Cardota, Courtsilius, Hosnian, Hosnian Prime, even Raysho. The light from the explosion will travel here in about forty years. I thought I’d come to watch. If I’m still around.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?”

“We’re at war.”

“And in less than forty years, we’ll be at peace. Be optimistic.” Kylo smiled, hesitant; it was gone from his lips as soon as it appeared. “I promise you can come back to watch the lights.”

It was too much like in his dreams, the way Hux looked at him for a minute, that warmth he felt in his chest—expanding, consuming. It wasn’t real.

“If you’re ready,” Kylo found himself saying, “we should go get those herbs. Get it over with.”

“We can’t, the medcenter is already closed.” The usual sharpness was back in Hux’s voice; the moment was broken. He tossed the shirt onto his bed, and set to continue unpacking.

“What time is it?”

“Well, we have a 32-hour system, but it should suffice that it’s night.”

“The sun is still up. Clouds or not.”

Hux gave him a stern look. “It’s spring, the sun is up for most of the night.”

Kylo threw his arms open.

“No tantrums,” Hux said before he could open his mouth. “You said you were here to work, so get to work. I’ll be in no condition to help you, mind you, and also, I require the ‘fresher for about an hour and won’t be disturbed. You insisted on coming, so figure out something to entertain yourself.”

“That’s what you’ll be doing?” Kylo murmured. Hux came up to him clutching a weather worn toiletry bag and a box of pantyliners (unscented, extra thin, appropiate for briefs).

“I’m not interested in you bullying my biology,” he said, attempting to push him. Kylo didn’t even budge.

“I wasn’t bullying you.”

Hux’s scent up close was maddening. Kylo wanted to bury his face in the crook of his neck. Taste the rain. Lick. Nibble. With incredible self-restraint, he took a step back, then another. The refresher door slid shut automatically, separating him from temptation.

“Don’t disturb me,” Hux yelled. Great. So these cheap ass doors weren’t soundproof. It’d be a long night.

*

Kylo was pacing the room, walking around holoprojections suspended in the air, when the moaning began. He tried to dismiss it at first. Maybe Hux was just enjoying the bath’s temperature. He’d been splashing around for about forty minutes, which was something of a shock: Kylo always imagined Hux to be the kind of person who just took a five minute sonic and avoided touching himself during the process as much as possible. He was prudish. Methodical. Then again, Kylo never saw him off duty, because Hux was _never_  off duty. He was beginning to suspect that the assumptions he’d made about him might not be entirely correct. Not-being-an-alpha included.

Another moan, longer but muffled. At least he had the decency to cover his mouth or bite his lips. More splashing.  _Rhythmical_  splashing.

Kylo waved his hand, pushing the holoprojection of military performance assessment graphs to the side so he could glare at the round refresher door. What was he _doing_  in there? Of course, he knew Hux would, well, pleasure himself sometime during the night, but he assumed that taking a bath was just in preparation for the act. Hux would probably not touch his asshole unless it was _pristine._  He probably never swallowed and caught his own spunk in his hands so his belly wouldn’t get messy. His dreams begged to differ, but it didn’t stop Kylo from having very precise ideas about what Hux might be like in the bedroom. He’s been desperately trying to convince himself that Hux would be boring and prissy. That he wasn’t missing out on anything.

A wet gasp. Almost a whine. Then a very low buzz. Oh. He had a vibrator in there, the sly bastard. Kylo huffed. This was just—disrespectful. They had a joint refresher. He used fifty percent of Kylo’s property to—and he _must_  know that Kylo was overhearing him. A sob followed. Kylo grit his teeth, approaching the door with long strides, cape billowing menacingly; then he stopped halfway. What was he going to say? _Please go fuck yourself in your own room?_

A mewl. What if Hux was doing it on purpose? Luring Kylo in, making him knot him and then laughing in his face that he hadn’t been able to resist. Even if they didn’t bond, a connection would be there after they mated, and Hux would exploit it in a blink.

The next moan sounded like Hux was really trying to keep it down. But was he?

 _I don’t have to deal with this,_  Kylo thought, and summoned his headset. He disabled the microphone, adjusted the earpiece, and put on the best hits of the late Imperial Symphony Orchestra. There. He wouldn’t be distracted by some lewd display. (It briefly occurred to him that both of his former masters had urged him to be celibate and expressed worry that he couldn’t deal with his urges, and neither of them had had his best interest at heart. But that was how he grew up; not counting a small number of exciting encounters and a few orgies, he’d been able to control himself.)

He gave his undivided attention to work as a victory march played. Being the Supreme Leader of the First Order was easy. He could’ve done it in his sleep. The _certain people_  who accused him of lacking the training and expertise forgot that one, so did Snoke, and two, he was a fucking telepath. He knew everything people around him knew. Sure, they could feel him rummaging around in their minds, but it made them fear him, which was to be desired.

It didn’t quite work via written accounts. He was a quick reader, but an impatient one;skimming through endless reports got on his nerves fast. Normally, he’d have someone to debrief him in person, and then focus on the most pressing matters. Writing had no emotional filter. The way thoughts were organised was unnatural. Anyone who had ever listened to someone think would notice it. Now he was really the last of his kind. It was just him and Rey Kriffing Nobody.

He could try reaching out to her. That’d go well.  _Could you tell me where’s the Resistance base? We still can’t seem to locate it and my Grand Marshal is busy fucking himself with the loudest vibrator on the market. It’s driving me crazy. Have some pity._

Hux’s arousal was starting to get to him. He could _taste_  it. Hux usually kept his mind shut; he wasn’t guarding his thoughts as well as he believed, but they still had an adequate defense system. He got alarmed at the subtlest intrusion. Kylo hadn’t come near his mind since the Incident. The Incident of choking him and slamming him to a console so hard he bruised. Hux had been willing to overlook it for a promotion, but too much probing would make him change his mind. Which posed the question: why could Kylo feel the craze of his heat and why Hux wasn’t screaming at him for intruding?

He pulled the headset off and looked at the door again. No splashing. No buzzing. Some very faint moaning. Hux had moved on to the bedroom. Wonderful. They had more space to separate them, but Hux was projecting _mercilessly._  He was too far gone to realise it, and too Force-void to be able to control it anyway.

“Fuck,” Kylo muttered elegantly. He put the headset back on and scowled at a projection, but didn’t register what he was reading or that he forgot to restart the music. Hux’s muffled moans kept replaying in his mind, echoing with half-forgotten dreams and guilty fantasies. Hux panting near his ear. Whispering absolute filth to him. Braving him, _deeper, deeper._  The way he’d scream his name. Head thrown back. Scratches at Kylo’s back. _Ren!_  The look on his face. Awed. Adoring. Unguarded.

Kylo only noticed that he had moved his hand when he was already palming his cock. He noted with annoyance that he was indeed hard, precome leaking at the tip. He only brought two pants with him, so he couldn’t risk ruining them. He unzipped quickly, scowling all the way, and stepped out of his pants as if they were burning him, then tossed them alongside his briefs into a corner. He felt like the fish were watching him. He must’ve looked like a jackass in his cape, tunic, socks, and gloves, but dick out. It was swollen and wet and pointing forward. _To the omega_. Pathetic.

He shed the rest of his clothing, closed the projections and marched to the bed, then dropped onto it. He lay on his back, arms crossed over his chest, gazing at the ceiling.

He should go to the refresher for a cold shower, but the last thing he needed was Hux overhearing it. He could will it away like he always did, meditate his way out of an ill-timed erection, but his mind was distracted by the pull of Hux’s arousal. He might accidentally slip into Hux’s thoughts. Reveal that he responded to the call of his lust. There was only one solution: to masturbate. He set his jaw, and grabbed his cock.

His palm was dry and calloused. He didn’t pack lube. He didn’t pack lube because he thought he was better than this.

 _What were you thinking,_  he told himself as he gloomily tugged at his cock. _Hux told you that he was an omega going into heat and you came running. You couldn’t have been more obvious. But it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that at all. I was curious, but this is an investigation. I offered protection. I am in control. No other alpha will claim my Grand Marshal and get classified information out of him during pillow talk. (You know he’d bite off his tongue first. He’d rather die than betray the Order.) Okay. No other alpha will claim him. Happy? But nor will I. He’ll be like he always was. Distant. Perfect. Untouched. (You know he’s far from being a virgin. Listen to what’s going on in his room. He_ loves _it.) He’s always on suppressants. This is the first time—(He can still fuck. Get that little ass stuffed. How do you think he made General. Why do you think he owns that slutty robe. Get a grip, Ren. Hux has been fucked left and right but he never approached you when you were nothing but a Knight. Now he might try because you have more to give than your sad, lonely dick. Why would he want that? Why would he want you?)_

He really needed some spit at least, but he refused to wet his fingers. He didn’t deserve it.

 _Who is the Jedikiller? Who is the Master of the Knights of Ren? Who is the Supreme Leader? Who conquered, and conquered, and conquered? (But Crait. Grandfather’s lightsaber, broken. A scar on your face to show your shame. You’re lucky she didn’t cut your hand straight off when you offered unlimited power to her. She saw through you, they all do. See that you’re weak—) And ever since then: victory and victory, planets submitting, planets defeated, whole systems, the galaxy will be yours soon, you’ve been promised the stars and you waited and then you learned how to take them on your own._  
  
_You’re not who you once were. Each day you’re getting stronger. You no longer need to keep yourself in check. Your enemies are dead or exiled. Ben Solo is never coming back. There’s nothing left to fear. Your victory is guaranteed. You have all that you need. (Hux is here.) Hux is here for the taking. What if the dreams are a promise? (Hux is here and he’ll never leave me because I am the Order.) He’s on your side. (He’s only doing it for himself.) Do the same. Mutual exploitation is a fair deal. You could just get up, go to his room and fuck him raw, and he’d be happy because he’d think he won._

His hips jerked and he came all over himself, load after load. He felt unsatisfied, hollow, and empty. His mouth was dry and his head was swimming. He knew he wasn’t thinking straight. Something was missing.

He thought he heard Hux cry out, but he wasn’t sure. He let go of his knot, disgusted that his body would be so naive, that it mistook his fist for a loyal lover who deserved to be knotted.

He had no idea whether Hux would deserve it, or even want it, or whether he himself wanted to know the answer to that. He closed his eyes, chest heaving, his come slowly drying and cooling. Hux was back at it again with the moaning. Kylo looked around for a chrono. There was one on the nightstand. Only twenty minutes had passed.

It would be a long night indeed.

*

Kylo woke up feeling like he’d just crawled out of a Sarlacc pit. The wrinkled cover was wrapped around his naked torso, the nightstand had been knocked over, and the air reeked of come and sweat. He couldn’t exactly open the windows to let the smell out, but he could at least try to put himself back together.

He took the walk of shame to the refresher. It was blissfully vacant. He avoided his gaze in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, then he took the cold shower he sorely needed.

He was applying some conditioner when there was an obnoxious knock on the door.

“Are you decent?” Hux called.

“No!” Kylo said, covering his cock begrudgingly as if Hux could see through the walls. Not like these fucking walls were worth anything. He was certain Hux heard him last night around his seventh go.

“Could you get me my pomade?”

“Kriff off!”

He wasn’t sure whether they had sex. Had indulged in a sexual activity together, at least. Did mutual masturbation count? Was it _mutual,_  or did they just happen to do it at the same time, maybe inspired by each other, but ultimately independently—

“Very well. Anyhow, I’m heading out. See you around.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” he growled.

“You just told me, and I quote, to ‘kriff off.’”

“Don’t be a fucking idiot.”

Hux chuckled dryly. “Someone is grumpy.”

“Just sit on your ass and wait.” Great. Why did he have to bring up Hux’s ass? “I’ll be with you shortly.” He was making it worse. “To accompany you to the medcenter. As it is our mission.”

“Hurry up, then,” Hux said. Kylo resumed rubbing in the conditioner, and slowly counted to ten.

He took his sweet time, but at least when he entered Hux’s room he looked refreshed and dignified. He had a cape wrapped around his shoulders complete with a hood, a merlie-wool tunic, and leather pants — elegant but fashionably casual.

Hux was wearing a knitted sweater. It was green. And it was too big. Also, his hair was tousled and fluffy. Kylo’s heart skipped a beat.

“Won’t you get dressed?” he asked.

“I’m already dressed, thank you very much, the weather is nice today. Have you found my pomade?” Hux got to his feet and peeked into the refresher. His leggings were extremely tight. Thank the Force his sweater was long enough to cover his ass.

“I think you forgot to pack it,” Kylo said. He had tossed it into the trash a few minutes ago. It was a petty move, but he had no regret.

“Excellent,” Hux sighed, and settled for combing his hair. It wasn’t working; his hair was too soft to be tamed.

Kylo began to contemplate whether he was still asleep. He looked around in Hux’s room: it was the same design as his own, except it smelled nice. The exhaust fan was on. Clever. Kylo examined the bed: it was neatly made, the corners tucked in. No evidence of a night spent jerking off and/or riding a vibrator, except for the smell that had gotten even nicer. Kylo was absurdly hard again.

“Are you sniffing my pillow, Supreme Leader?” Hux asked. Kylo had been in fact rubbing his face over it so it’d smell of him. It was instinct. Also, revenge.

“I always thought your pillow would be greasy and yellow from all that pomade you use,” Kylo said, straightening up.

“Don’t be absurd, it washes off. I can’t believe I forgot to pack it. I clearly remember double-checking that I had it.”

“Vanity doesn’t suit you. Let’s get going.” He turned with a flutter of his cape, and chose to ignore the insult Hux muttered.

*

The weather was indeed pleasant: a protective barrier was stretched over the city, shielding it from the rain. It looked like a purple bubble. Kylo suspected Gungan technology. The Arkanisians would never admit to it.

The fog had cleared, revealing bulky duracrete and iron buildings fitted together like a jigsaw from a claustrophobic nightmare. They stretched up to the synthetic sky, countless bridges linking the towers together; a wide canal was running deep down , fed by monstrous gargoyles and tubes still spitting up rainwater. Hulking gray statues watched their hovercraft pass, gigantic memorials of long-dead soldiers with torn banners. Kylo caught sight of some propaganda-advertisements flickering on rotting billboards. He couldn’t read the characters.

He sensed the buzz of a thousand minds, a vibrant cacophony just like yesterday, but he only spotted some people crossing the bridges or standing close enough to the tinted windows to be seen. All of them were human of every color, mostly blond or ginger, and some albinos with white hair. He contemplated asking Hux why everything looked so run-down and desolate; maybe he should just search for an answer on the holonet. The holonet wouldn’t call him names. The holonet wasn’t sitting within arm's reach, enticing him with their delicious smell, tempting him to take a bite and get poisoned. He groaned the same time Hux took a shaky breath.

“You need to get another cab,” Hux said. “Either that, or I’m sitting in your lap.”

“There’s plenty of space,” Kylo shot back.

“You’re filling it up with your scent which is—disadvantageous.”

“Disadvantageous.”

“You know what I mean.”  

They looked at each other. They were sitting on the opposite ends of the leather-clad backseat. Kylo had no idea why he hadn’t called shotgun. When Hux had climbed inside he had just followed him. He _had_ to be near.

“I won’t kiss and tell,” Kylo said.

Hux looked him over, suspicious, arms crossed over his chest as if he was trying to protect his nipples from evil. They were probably peaked and oversensitive. “Come again?”

“Listen, I’m not above helping out a buddy in need,” Kylo explained in a tone which he liked to think of as his diplomatic voice.

“We’re not _buddies._ ”

“I’m the closest thing you have to a friend, and you know it.”

“No, that was Phasma.”

There was a beat.

“Phasma would’ve killed you if you stood in her way, you know.”

“I know. I would’ve done the same.”

“ _I_  would kill you if you stood—” Kylo said; Hux raised his hand, not looking at him. Kylo bit back the rest of the sentence.

“What’s on offer?” Hux asked.

“You know what’s on offer.”

“Fill me in.” After a brief pause, he added, “With details.”

Kylo played casual, peeking out of his window at the endless wall of buildings. “If it would be easier for you to sit in my lap until we arrive, be my guest.”

“What would I be doing in your lap?” Hux asked; a provocation. Kylo turned to him, face impassive, taking in his flushed cheeks, his round eyes. That hungry little glint. The defiant pout of his plush lips.

“I don’t know. Grind a little,” Kylo said lazily.

“If you think I’d sink so low—”

“You’re in heat. There’s nothing shameful about that. You need the friction.”

“Or I could just do this.” Hux pinched his nose.

Kylo blinked at him slowly. “Look at you. You’re truly a mastermind. A strategic genius. You don’t look ridiculous at all.”

“I don’t care how I look,” Hux said nasally. “And you don’t _care_  about my _needs._ ”

Kylo shrugged. “I was trying to be civil, that’s all. But a no is a no.”

“You only pretend to care because your cock would be involved,” Hux said, glowering at him. “When it is about my _health,_ however—”

“When did I ever compromise your health?” Kylo snapped, then, “You are going to say the Force-choke thing. Listen. I told you that’ll never—”

“Fuck that,” Hux said, then repeated, louder, “Fuck that. No. I was talking about my lack of sleep. The very thing that led me here. I would’ve been able to administer my suppressants if I wasn’t chronically fatigued.”

“You have a full night cycle to rest just like everyone.”

“And thrice as much work to complete, so I stay up to—”

“That is _your_  fault.”

“It’s not!” Hux raised his voice, furious. “I don’t assign _myself_  all that crap! I’m doing your job, my job, everyone’s job because you still haven’t elected—”

“Hux.”

“It’s a skeleton cabinet, we can’t _function_ like that and you never listen—”

“ _Hux._ ”

“And when I _try_  to sleep I’m just there wondering when will that girl return to kill us all—”

“Wait, you’re afraid of Rey?”

“No, I’m _terrified_  of her and I have every reason to be, she’s the only Force-user who hates me more than you do and she slaughtered Leader Snoke!” Hux looked at him, and there was a plea in his gaze, _please tell me what really happened, will you ever, can I trust you to protect us if you lie all the time—_

“I don’t hate you,” Kylo said softly. “I really don’t.”

“That doesn’t help,” Hux said, straightening up, trying to compose himself after the outburst. He brushed his hair back from his forehead in vain. His locks fell back, fuzzy, lank.

“I will sense it when she comes back to destroy all we’ve built, and I will stop her,” Kylo promised. “Your work won’t be for nothing. You’ll have a legacy.”

“Get out of my head,” Hux muttered.

“Sorry. You’re projecting.” There was an embarrassed pause. “So. Would it cheer you up if you sat on my cock?”

Hux smiled at him faintly. “Very funny.”

Kylo offered him his hand, expecting Hux to shake on it, to show that they were okay; Hux hooked his pinky over Kylo’s and kept holding it as he turned back to the window, watching the place he called home pass by.

*

Hux was still clutching his pinky when they entered the medcenter, making Kylo incapable of forming coherent thoughts. He knew he’d be jerking off again as soon as they returned to the hotel, if not sooner. He felt that giddy warmth spreading over his chest that haunted him in his dreams, mingled with arousal. One more touch could finish him, one more sniff of Hux’s scent. He’d haul him up and fuck him right there, spread out on the stark metal registration desk, rock into him for everyone to see as Hux would scream encouragements.

It was a bad idea for many reasons: one of them was that they were clearly being recognised. Everyone stood up and saluted as soon as they caught sight of them, even heavily pregnant people and ones feeding their babies. Hux led the way confidently through a brilliantly lit corridor, nodding to patients and staff members. Kylo sensed surprise, pride, fear, and respect from them; also, a healthy dose of lust. He and Hux passed a sign asking alphas to wait outside for their significant others. Kylo generally enjoyed being above the law, but the whole medcenter was starting to feel like a harem, like he was supposed to drop his pants any minute and dutifully set about making babies for the New Empire.

Hux was no longer holding onto him.

Kylo watched how his hair bounced as he marched on, how his shoulders peeked out of his silly sweater. He looked delectable. Kylo would be a fool to ruin his appetite with anyone else when he had such an exquisite dessert waiting to be eaten up. Or eaten out. Hux would love that, love getting his little hole licked until there was not a drop of  his sweet slick left.

He’d love it, but he still made no sign that he wanted it. Kylo had always thought that Hux secretly considered him an underling, but it seemed like his new rank was not any more attractive to him. Kylo appreciated the moments they’d shared so far, but he was very conscious that it could all end soon: Hux would get his treatment and he’d be back to his guarded self, no confessions, no loud masturbation sessions—a chance, missed.

But let it be.

He’d hate to think it meant something when it was only Hux’s heat clouding his judgement. He wouldn’t be able to bear seeing disgust and disappointment on Hux’s face when he came back to himself.  

They finally got to a door that said “special appointments only” in Basic; Hux knocked on it, and an albino nurse let them in, bowing. “All hail Supreme Leader Ren; Grand Marshal Hux, welcome.”

“How do you do,” Kylo muttered, making a mental note to revise his protocol lessons about properly greeting sentient clinical staff. The nurse beamed at him, so maybe he was doing fine.

“Is Dr. Verwoerd in?” Hux asked, looking around in the room. The white lights were dazzling, the angular furniture visibly uncomfortable.

“She’ll be here shortly; please change into this gown for the examination.” The nurse offered Hux a sea-blue gown.

Hux said something in deep, melodic Arkanisian, and the nurse responded, bowing her head. To Kylo’s great disappointment, Hux hadn’t put on the gown.

Dr. Verwoerd entered, a tubby little woman with dark skin, red hair and the whitest, brightest smile.

“Armitage! Long time no see.” She noticed Kylo, and saluted. “All hail Supreme Leader, long may you reign.”

“Doctor,” Kylo murmured. He never got used to this greeting; it sounded like a jab about Snoke’s untimely demise. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall as Hux got seated  and Dr. Verwoerd pulled out a datapad.

“Congratulations on your promotion,” she noted, and Hux writhed a bit, excited by the praise. He was so _easy_. Kylo reminded himself to try flattering him more, however annoyingly endearing his reaction was. “Let’s see what we have here; you mentioned in your message that you missed your regular dose of suppressants. Which type are you on?”

“Aplomb 200, military sanction.”

“A cost-effective solution,” Dr. Verwoerd said, briefly glancing at Kylo. She looked judgemental. How was this _his_  fault? The suppressants were Snoke’s idea. He had nothing to do with it. He shifted his weight, uneasy, while Dr. Verwoerd turned her attention back to Hux. He was sitting with his hands clasped between his thighs, innocent, charming. “Have you been with a partner since your heat started?”

“I haven’t.”

“Self-stimulation?”

“Affirmative.”

“Number of climaxes?”

“Forty-six, including five extended orgasms of about twenty minutes in duration each.”

That was _unfair._  Kylo had only gotten to about sixteen when his dick had started chafing and his hand cramping. It would’ve been _so much better_  for the both of them if they’d just fucking fucked. Of course, there were certain complications. Like their respective personalities.

“ _Lusróg scileagailí_  it is,” Dr. Verwoerd said. “Unless you want a prostate examination.”

“No need; I get examined regularly.”

“By droids,” Dr. Verwoerd murmured, but didn’t press on. The nurse got the herbs from a secure cabinet while the doctor typed something on her datapad. Kylo stared at the little brown paper bag the nurse handed to Hux.

“Those herbs are Force-sensitive,” he noted.

“The Jedi thought so,” the nurse said, then quickly added, “In any case, their remedial properties are evident.”

Kylo decided to let it slip. There was no point arguing about religion with a commoner; he wanted to get out of the consult room as soon as possible. Smash something, maybe. The Jedi might be nearly extinct, but people would never stop thinking they were the only ones with the _right_ to have an understanding of the Force.

Hux played with the bag uncertainly. “Do I recall correctly that it tastes rather bitter?”

“It’ll be worse than you remember,” Dr. Verwoerd said with a smile. “Add some honey. You haven’t yet reached the peak of your heat, so you’ll feel the benefits immediately. Oh, and something for the road.” She presented him with a pink pill; Hux asked the name in his native tongue, then swallowed it down.

Kylo’s heart sank. This was it, then. Hux would soon be back to his usual self; the herbs wouldn’t be as potent as a suppressant, but they should cool him down enough that he wouldn’t want more of Kylo’s company. The Hux he knew would have sent him out of the room, wouldn’t have linked their fingers, never told him he was scared.  

He watched him stand and exchange pleasantries with the staff, finishing with “Please give Seatris my warmest regards.”

Kylo saw red with jealousy. He followed Hux out without saying goodbye, distraught and wounded.

“Could you put it away for me?” Hux handed him the bag without looking at him. Kylo wanted to slam it into the nearest trash bin.

“Who’s Seatris?”

“Her son. He’s six. I’m told he looks up to me.” He adjusted his sweater self-importantly and gave Kylo a sly smile. “Worried I keep a boyfriend hidden away here?”

“Don’t say that,” Kylo growled.

Hux scowled in answer, more than usual, and said sharply,  “It was a joke, obviously.”

“It was mediocre, even from you.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Hux muttered.

Kylo wished he knew.

*

He was still shaken and distraught when they entered the market. Hux insisted on buying local, organic honey, and was willing to fight with the morning crowd for it. He suggested to grab brunch after.

_Brunch._

Brunch with Armitage Hux, of all people.

Kylo would never in a million years thought it’d come to this. He wasn’t sure what changed between them, although he had a few guesses. One of them was Snoke being cut into half. When he’d still been intact he’d never let them get close. He used to whisper horrible things about Hux, and Kylo had listened. When he had died it was as if the smoke dispersed, letting Kylo see clearly for the first time. For five years, he’d only seen the shadow of Hux; behind the cloud of lies was a human being. And behind his own mask, there was someone who had needs and dreams. Who had nothing left to lose, or to fear.

Hux led him through the teeming marketplace, tugging at his sleeve so he wouldn’t get lost. The vast hall was illuminated by lamps that reminded Kylo of giant bug zappers. There were no windows, only the projection of a cloudy sky above. Kylo was surprised to see so many people and droids gathered together and walking along the long tables of the merchants. Same as in the medcenter, the people who recognised him stopped whatever they were doing to salute silently. Kylo tried to filter out their thoughts; the market was far too loud even without the susurration of excited minds. Every now and then something caught his gaze—weapons, crystals, clothes, but Hux didn’t stop for anything. Not even for the alphas who couldn’t help but turn their head after him. That was a relief. At least Kylo needn’t murder anybody.

Finally, they reached the stand of the beekeeper and Kylo was treated to another dose of Arkanisian. He loomed behind Hux as he asked a hundred questions looking through his options; he sounded like he was leading an interrogation. Kylo was reminded of his days as an enforcer and was hit by a sudden wave of nostalgia. Those were simpler times. But the past needed to die.

He glanced at Hux tentatively while he was holding a jar of opaque honey to the light. A rainbow shimmer ran through the thick nectar, reflecting on Hux’s pale skin and the glint of teeth between his parted lips. _Look at him, he’ll survive me,_  Kylo thought. _He knows how to adapt; all I do is mimicry. (No. You grow.) Let us keep growing. Let us not grow apart. Please. (Wouldn’t you like to evolve into something bigger than yourself? Imagine what the symbiosis of you two would mean.)_

“Supreme Leader?”

Kylo binked, realising he’d spaced out staring at Hux’s mouth. “What?”

“Could you please hold it while I get my wallet?”

Kylo got the jar, resolved to be Hux’s personal droid for the day. He gave a parting look to Hux’s lips, then dropped his gaze to the ground.

*

The dining area was nice: there was a metal tree reaching up to the ceiling and the wire chairs were surprisingly comfortable. People politely kept their distance, although Kylo noticed some of them taking pictures. He briefly wondered whether there’d be rumours circulating the holonet about him taking the Grand Marshal on a date; probably not. They famously despised each other.

“Let me,” Hux said, taking the oyster he’d been idly playing with out of his hand. He broke the shell open, revealing the white flesh. He held it to Kylo’s lips. “Don’t forget to chew. Only amateurs swallow it whole.”

Of course Hux couldn’t hand feed him without a lecture. Kylo did as he was told, enjoying the sweetness and the brush of Hux’s fingertips on his lips. A droplet of juice rolled down his chin, and Hux swiped it off without thinking. His thumb lingered just a second too long.

Kylo contemplated offering a quicky in the ‘fresher, but he knew he’d feel bad about ruining Hux’s progress in battling his heat. He had ordered himself boiling hot water and made the tea to wash down the shrimps and fruits he’d been eating. The Force was in his belly. Kylo felt the pull of it from the herbs, a sharp contrast with the comforting void of Hux’s own Force signature.

“Why are there so many people?” Kylo asked in an effort for small talk. Anything to distract himself from the burning need to lick the tea from Hux’s lips.

“People tend to procreate.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then rephrase.” Hux lifted a brow and took a sip from his plastic mug. He was holding his pinky up.

“Why are there so many people _here_? I hardly saw anyone outside—you don’t even have _streets_ , it’s just those bridges.”

“Anmhór Carraig, the capital of Northern-Arkanis, where we’re staying, is in essence one giant fortress,” Hux explained. “With the recent attacks—recent in memory, in any case, the Rebel bombings, the Republic occupying the planet after the Empire fell, the bloody fights, the riots, the brutality of supposed peacekeepers—people started flocking back to the city from rural areas because it’s better protected. We tend to stay indoors, where we can take shelter and regroup and have better access to resources.”

“But we libertated the planet,” Kylo said. “The First Order.”

“We did,” Hux smiled. “But the dead didn’t come back.”  

Kylo remembered the giant statues of fallen soldiers. “Oh.”

“Oh,” Hux repeated, taking another sip. “With so many casualties suffered through long decades it’s…hard to be at ease. I reckon the people of Arkanis won’t sleep soundly until the Order gains control over the entire galaxy.”

“Including you,” Kylo said.

“Including me.”

“You’ll be pleased to hear I do plan to rule the galaxy.”

“I know,” Hux said with a strange expression. “I’ve noticed.”

“You think it should be you.” Kylo knew it was dangerous to discuss it, especially in public. He enjoyed the thrill of it.

“If I may speak freely—”

“You may.”

“I’ve always considered it my responsibility.”

“Why?” Kylo pointed a fork at him. “Why you?”

“I was made to do it.”

Kylo pulled a face and called a bagel to him with the Force. It was an unnecessary move, but it did help make a point. Kylo took a bite and said, mouth full, “That’s not very convincing.”

“You don’t understand,” Hux said, his gaze so intense it was starting to make Kylo uncomfortable. “Every single decision I’ve made, every decision that was made _for_  me honed me into the perfect candidate. There is no other purpose of my existence. I’m like an invention. I was _designed_  to rule.”

“If you really believe what you just said you must feel like shit,” Kylo noted. He didn’t dare to check Hux’s emotions, although he was projecting _something._

“I don’t,” Hux said. He put his tea aside, and popped a berry into his mouth. He chewed on it; it painted his teeth red. “I’m exactly where I need to be.”

*

They spent the rest of the day in Hux’s room, working through reports. The ease of familiarity settled over them and Kylo made the mistake of starting to feel safe as long hours passed.

“Let’s get to munition stores,” Hux said well after night had settled.

Luminous fishes swam by the dark windows, pursued by a shadow Kylo sensed to be some kind of predator. Hux was sitting on the desk, his ankle occasionally brushing past Kylo’s leg, who had taken the chair. He looked up at Hux, who was absentmindedly biting on his thumb while scrolling through a document, and in that moment, suddenly but without a doubt, he knew that he was thoroughly and utterly fucked.

Hux had been downing that tea the whole day. His enticing smell eventually got fainter, but his behaviour hadn’t changed one bit; neither did Kylo’s willingness to just burrow his face between his spread legs and lap at his cock until Hux was begging for more.

Ruts weren’t like heats. They weren’t periodical; they only happened when one was near an omega in heat with compatible genes.  By all means, he should’ve stopped wanting to raw Hux by now.

He seriously needed to consider the possibility that maybe he was attracted to him, had been for a while now, too deep in denial to realise. Maybe his strange dreams were just manifestations of his repressed desires.  Maybe Hux had him wrapped around a finger.

“Let’s call it a day,” he forced out. Hux released his thumb with a wet pop, making Kylo shiver. Damn this man.

“Tired already?”

“Noticed you’re blinking very slowly,” Kylo murmured, earning a teasing kick.

“We can stop, but don’t blame it on me. I could go on for hours.”

“I bet.” He dreaded what would come later. He knew Hux got the herbs to help him resist the tormenting need to fuck himself senseless, but what if he decided to hop on the vibrator just for the hell of it? To put Kylo through that misery again? He couldn’t resist this time. He would rattle the door and howl, pleading to be let in. It’d be very humiliating. Maybe it would be worth it if Hux did let him in, let him at least jerk off over him, paint his belly. He could picture him clearly on the bed, stretching out lazily, _well, Supreme Leader, if you insist—_

“Go then, shoo,” Hux said. “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Right,” Kylo muttered, getting to his feet. They’d fallen asleep. Kylo tried to shake off the numbness, biding his time. Hux slid off the desk and walked to the bed. Kylo started to get his hopes up, but Hux just put the datapad on the nightstand.

“Dibs on the ‘fresher,” Kylo said. He needed a cold shower. Or two.

“Go ahead, I think I’ll stay up editing your brilliant taxation plan.”

Kylo nodded, walked to the door, then stopped to look back over his shoulder. He watched Hux in the little circle of light from the nightstand, arranging his belongings, preparing for a long night in. There was something so private and peaceful in it. Kylo wished he was invisible so he could watch Hux’s silly little evening rituals as long as he pleased. Probably, there were other ways to share moments like this. Like dating Hux. But turning invisible sounded much more palpable.

“Hux?” he said. Hux looked up from arranging his pillows with a quizzical look.  _He complains of sleep deprivation then boasts that he could go on working all night; his people are so afraid they’d rather stay inside rotting buildings than see one more enemy ship block out the sun; he fed me oysters and tugged at my sleeve and linked our fingers._  “I killed Snoke.”

He didn’t get the reaction he was looking for. Hux just looked incredibly tired for a moment, shoulders sagged.

“And the girl helped? You couldn’t have taken out the Praetorians on your own, could you?”

“She helped,” Kylo admitted. Hux put his arms around himself, rocking back on his heels.

“Why?”

“She thought I was someone else.”

“Oh. Here I was thinking you offered her allegiance.”

“I also did that.”

“Huh,” Hux muttered. “And how did that work out?”

“Apparently, there are people who are not interested in ruling the galaxy. Imagine living like that.”

A smile tugged at Hux’s lips. Kylo wanted him to never stop smiling. “Weirdos, the whole lot of them.”

“Right?” Kylo grinned. Hux turned away, and cleared his throat. His eyes were too bright.

“Thank you for telling me how you commited treason for your own gains, much appreciated.”

“Any time.”

Hux cleared his throat again. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Of course you won’t.”

“Right. Good night.”

Kylo stepped closer to the door. It opened, bathing the room in the gentle lights of the refresher. “Good night, Grand Marshal. Get some rest.”

The door closed.

*

The night was regrettably uneventful. Kylo jerked off twice, but it was rather dull and uninspired. The memory of Hux wasn’t enough. He needed the real thing, and he needed it badly. He thought he heard Hux having a go at it at one point, but he wasn’t sure, and his dick was certainly unconvinced.

At least he slept soundly, as soundly as he could with his years old paranoia of getting assassinated while his eyes were closed. He lazed around a bit, observing some kind of cephalopod looking for breakfast, expecting Hux to bang on his door and pester him to get to work. The quarters were silent.

He made his bed, put on his pants and went to the refresher to wash his face, shave, and clean his teeth. He was actively eavesdropping, but no sound was heard from Hux’s room. He was beginning to worry. Theoretically, he was here to protect him.  What if someone spotted him in the medcenter or the marketplace—some traitor, following them here, waiting for the appropriate moment to strike? But he’d sense it, he’d know if something happened to Hux. Just to be sure, he rattled on the door. Hux made a noise in the back of his throat, and Kylo felt an immense, almost comical relief as he entered the room and found Hux safe and sound.

Then he froze.

Hux was still half asleep, the only source of light the bright, green sea. He kicked off his covers, revealing that he was wearing nothing but tiny briefs and Kylo’s Ord Mantell shirt, which exposed his shoulder. Kylo knew that the faint freckles there would haunt and taunt him forever. His gaze dropped, taking in Hux’s long, pale legs as he squirmed and groaned. Fantastic. He was achingly hard again, as if his rut never had a break.    

“ _What,_ ” Hux complained, rubbing at his eyes dramatically. His hair was disheveled, and he had a warm, sweet sleep-scent so intense that Kylo could smell it from where he was standing, mingling with the feverish whiff of heat. A second look revealed that Hux had a morning erection. His adorable little cock was tenting his slutty briefs, begging for attention.

 _This is it_ , Kylo thought. _We’ll just stand here and pretend to be civilised persons with straining dicks. It’s like a metaphor of our whole kriffing journey._   

He blurted out the first lie his heavily distracted brain could come up with. “I thought I’d hit the gym.”

“So?” Hux scoffed, looking at him with painful disapproval. Was he visibly hard? His pants should make it at least ambiguous.

“So I thought I’d ask you...where’s the nearest gym?”

Hux’s frown twisted. He pawed at the nightstand and produced two bobby pins. Kylo’s heart leapt as he watched him brush his hair to the side with his fingers and secure it into place. He looked absolutely ridiculous and so cute Kylo wanted to weep. This man was his first in command. His sworn enemy and a capable ally. Starkiller in the flesh. He murdered billions and never even gotten his hands dirty. He had a button nose and a soft tummy and he looked _sweet_  in the morning.

“What?” Kylo mumbled, because he entirely missed whatever Hux was saying while fixing his hair.

“What do you have against the hotel’s gym?” Hux repeated his question, getting up to his feet. He adjusted the shirt. It was so big on him it looked like a cheeky dress.

“I didn’t know it had a gym, I thought it was too cheap for that,” Kylo said. Hux hummed, heading to the desk. Kylo held his breath watching him. It was impossible to look away.

“Even hotels with a lower price range have gyms here,” Hux said, pouring some water into his thermo mug and getting the herbs.

Kylo couldn’t wait for him to drink his fucking anti-heat tea, but the problem was that he bent over to do that, revealing his squishy ass. Kylo very much wanted to casually walk up to him and dip a finger between his cheeks. Hux could say no. But if he indicated that he liked it Kylo would go on and finger him before he got a chance to drink his medicine, and only get his dick out once Hux was loose and limp and sobbing for it. He’d fuck him on the table, but he wouldn’t be rough, he’d make it last to rile him up.

“So you should know that,” Hux finished, blowing at the steaming tea.

“Will you be joining me?” Kylo asked, leaning to the door. He tried not to be too obvious as he flexed his arms. Hux’s gaze dropped to his pecs, appreciative. He got lost for a minute and nearly choked on his tea. Sadly, it didn’t mean anything. Kylo’s physique always had this effect on people, with the sole exception of fellow alphas who would just ask him to stop being territorial and put a cowl on.  

“I’ll consider it,” Hux coughed.

“Smell you later, then,” Kylo said, and he didn’t know which was worse: that he blurted out a shitty joke or that he sorta implied that if he spent one more minute breathing in Hux’s scent he’d come untouched.

*

The so-called gym was located on a balcony overlooking a swimming pool. It wasn’t half bad: it had some of Kylo’s favourite machines: a dip station, battle ropes, an incline bench press, and even a reverse hyper among the various versions of treadmills. Some early risers were already working out, but they were ready to give up their places for the Supreme Leader. It was worth the small talk and the pictures.

He couldn’t not notice that Hux was late.

He was all but finished with his usual Primaday routine and there was still no sight of him. He decided to throw in some extra time to stretch, although he would’ve preferred if Hux entered while he was lifting weights or doing something more impressive than lunges on a mat. He kept glancing around: the windows overlooked a coral reef, and the transparisteel pool gave the illusion as if the swimmers were splashing around in the actual sea. He was beginning to appreciate the Arkanisians’s creative ways to stay indoors at all costs. Maybe it explained Hux staying in his room when he said he’d consider joining Kylo. He promised.

Kylo was venting out his frustration on a punching bag when he sensed Hux approaching. _Finally._  He looked up just in time to see the grand entrance, the pool’s heavy doors opening to reveal him in a fluffy black bathrobe with a First Order insignia. Kylo was part relieved and part annoyed that it wasn’t Hux’s usual silky, pleated affair, but that wouldn’t have been appropriate. He wouldn’t want anyone else to see him in that while he was still technically in heat.

“Over here,” he called, scoring a mighty, bare-knuckled punch. Hux waved to him awkwardly, then quickened his steps as he approached. All eyes were on him, and people went out of their way to salute him, stopping in the middle of whatever they were doing. Kylo wasn’t sure whether Hux was enjoying the attention and didn’t probe. In the respectful silence all that could be heard was the squeak of Hux’s slippers and the slow ripples on the pool’s water. A song was playing: a generic, upbeat melody so quiet it couldn’t hide the embarrassing slurping sound Hux’s wet slippers made when he stopped.

“At ease,” he yelled, voice clear and shrill. Kylo sometimes wondered why he felt it necessary to scream every order, but it did wonders—the hotel’s guests resumed their activities with appropriate clamour. Hux craned his neck to look up to the balcony.

“I thought I’d go swimming,” he said. Kylo cocked his brows.

“Then go swimming.” He continued practicing his punches like he couldn’t really give a damn whether Hux was here.

It felt like a victory. He hadn’t been stood up. But why did it matter? He and Hux would spend the day together working anyway. _He chose to be here,_  Kylo thought. _That’s the difference. He chose to be with me. He came of his own volition. (He came to swim.) Which includes undressing. (Don’t be delusional.) He could’ve chosen any sport. (He couldn’t. He’s weak.) He wanted me to see. (He had a robe on.) What’s underneath is a surprise. (You’re out of your mind.) It’s not impossible he could be attracted to me, the way he looked at me. Remember that hunger. That craving. (Read his mind then.) He’d sense it. (His surface emotions.) He hides them too well. (Ridiculous. Not from you. You’re afraid of what you’d find. That he doesn’t even care about you enough to hate you. Not anymore.)_

He landed a punch so heavy it sent the bag flying. Chest heaving and knuckles bleeding he looked down to the pool. His breath caught in his throat.

Hux was sitting on the edge, still robed, only his slim legs submerged, chatting up a broad-shouldered swimmer with fair hair and a well-trimmed beard. Kylo immediately knew he was an alpha. He rushed to the stairs, seething, heart hammering. He reached floor-level and almost slipped, but found his footing easily.

He closed on the pair as the man was saying, “...should be thanking _you_  for your service. You make all of us look like cowards.”

“Nonsense. You’re a firefighter; I’m sure you know all about valor.” Hux _smiled_. Kylo could tell it was thanks to the cheap praise, but _still._

“Well, it’s mostly the droids doing the heavy lifting, so we’re basically just there because they’re bad at making moral decisions, so—”

“Ren,” Hux interrupted with a greeting before Kylo could bellow at them. The firefighter had the gall to salute.

“All hail the Supreme Leader!”

“What’s going on here,” Kylo gritted. The firefighter reeked of hormones.

“Aldor was just telling me about the challenges of his occupation,” Hux said as if he couldn’t tell what Ren meant. And they were on first name basis already. Fucking great.

“You want to go and wrestle a shark,” Kylo said with an impatient wave of his hand. Aldor’s face lit up.

“I want to go and wrestle a shark,” he repeated, awed, and pulled himself out of the water. Hux turned to Kylo, furious.

“Don’t make him,” he hissed. “You’re killing him for nothing.”

“Suggestions contrary to the subject’s nature wear off within a matter of minutes,” Kylo said. “You should know this by now, based on the interrogations you’ve observed.”

Hux peered over his shoulder. Aldor was walking away with wobbly steps. “What if he’s into wrestling sharks?”

“Then he deserves what’s coming for him. What was this about, anyway?”

“He was nice. An acquaintance from the past.”

“An acquaintance.”

Hux sighed. “Not like that. You know, when I came here I was looking forward to reconnect with my people.”

“Tough shit,” Kylo hissed, crouching down a bit so he could spit it into Hux’s face. “It’s not safe.”

 _Never oppose me in front of my subjects again,_  he sent directly into Hux’s mind. Hux sneered, showing teeth.

 _I’m not the one making a scene,_  he sent back, too loud. He shrugged off his robe while keeping eye contact, and slipped into the water. Kylo caught sight of his tiny swimsuit only briefly; Hux submerged completely, as if he could drown out Kylo’s voice. Kylo stared at his white-and-red silhouette sinking to the bottom.

 _Fine_ , he broadcasted, and grabbed the robe Hux left behind. He stormed out of the pool, and took it with him just to be petty.

*

Kylo was pacing Hux’s room, still in his gym clothes, waiting for him to return. He was enraged. It was supposed to be a good day. Of course it had to be ruined.

 _You don’t deserve to have—(Not now. It’s his fault. He had to make me wait and then flirt with a firefighter.) You two weren’t on a date. (He made it look like I was the one who fucked up. Like I was being irrational. I hope Aldor dies. He disrespected my—) What? Your what? (...) Say it. (What’s mine.)_  

The door opened and Hux marched in, hair dripping, a towel wrapped around his torso. He stopped short when he noticed Kylo.

“What are you doing here? Out.”

“You don’t command me.”

Hux made a face, but didn’t say anything. He walked up to his desk, leaving a trail of small puddles behind, and started making his tea, clutching the towel to his chest with his left hand. It occured to Kylo that he might be insecure about his skinny form. It was a weakness to exploit. He thought about insults to throw at him while something was begging in a small voice, _don’t hurt him, he needs comfort, you both do._

“I see swimming made you horny,” he said, putting as much contempt into it as he could muster. Hux slammed the drainer down.

“ _Everything_ makes me horny, that’s how heat works!”

“I’m sure a couple of half-naked guys helped,” Kylo added. “Well-built. Unlike yourself.”

The taunt was weak and transparent, but Hux still looked at him as if he got kicked.  

“I told you it wasn’t like that,” he said, hurt with betrayal. _Why do you never listen?_

 _I’m sorry_. Kylo realised he couldn’t say it. That it was too late.

Hux took a sip of his tea that had to be boiling-hot and weak. “This is ridiculous,” he mumbled. Kylo would’ve preferred if he shouted. A screaming match was easy to win, but silent disappointment was almost impossible to fix. “I don’t answer to you about what I do in my free time. Have fun with the reports. I’m heading out.” With that, he put the tea aside and walked to the wardrobe. The panel lit up, and the doors slid open, revealing a sorry collection of clothing.

“You’re staying right here,” Kylo said, raising his voice.

Hux couldn’t be dragged back into an argument. “I’m on sick leave,” he noted on a normal volume. He pulled out a soft, white tunic and put it to his chest.

“That wasn’t the agreement. You didn’t hand in the appropriate form, remember?”

“Let’s be perfectly honest with each other, you don’t care.” He grabbed leggings next. Didn’t he bring _any_  pants?

“Don’t tell me how I feel,” Kylo said, gravitating towards the refresher.  He felt like he needed an escape route.

“You feel like you _must_  be in control,” Hux told him. “Of everyone, and all the time. That’s the only reason you wanted your title. For your personal gains. As always. I won’t help you bear the weight of it today.”

“Mutiny, is it?” Kylo gritted.

“Don’t be dramatic, I’ll just take myself to see an opera or something. Whatever regular people do for fun.” He started pulling on socks, hopping on one leg. His hair was still dripping water everywhere. “People who don’t work with sociopaths.”

“ _You’re_ a sociopath. And why would _you_ want power if not for your personal—”

“To fix it,” Hux said, gesticulating vaguely at the room, at the whole galaxy. The towel almost dropped. “To fix this rubbish, because our parents and _grandparents_ fucked it up spectacularly.”

“That’s reassuring to hear, because that’s exactly what I’m doing,” Kylo said coolly. The fight was gone from him. Resentment remained. Resentment and regret. Equally strong, equally present.

“Fucking shite up, or fixing stuff?”

“Fixing stuff. I’m coming with you.”

“Why,” Hux whined. He straightened up, looking absurd in his socks and wet towel, hair plastered to his forehead. It didn’t matter how he looked. It didn’t matter what he did. What Kylo felt for him—whatever it was—wouldn’t change.

“I made a promise,” he said. “And I don’t break promises.”

*

The speeder ride was sheer torment. Kylo took the front seat, but kept glancing at Hux in the rearview mirror. He was actively ignoring Kylo’s company. Each passing minute grew heavier with guilt. Kylo wanted him to speak, to throw accusations into his face so he could defend himself. He was left alone with his justifications, the sentences repeated over and over, nothing but a hollow echo inside his mind.

Punishment should be next. That was the logical step. Always had been. His masters had vastly different methods of reprimandation, but they agreed that wrongful deeds needed correction. There was nobody left in the universe to hold him accountable. He was left alone with himself, and this was where that led. More loneliness, and his companion hurt—despite Kylo’s promises that he’d never harm him again.  

He parted his lips to say something, then closed them. He’d just make everything worse. Hux’s hostility was nearly tangible. Kylo reached out with the Force, tentative, timid, torturing himself with Hux’s anger and disappointment.

“Stop that,” Hux said, staring ahead at nothing. Kylo pulled back, and curled his fingers into fists over his lap.

“Sorry.”

Hux didn’t say anything.

*

The opera house looked like it was made from the bones of some enormous deep sea monster, bizarrely imposing. Kylo wondered whether they’d be out of place, but it was the least of his worries. He followed Hux with his shoulders hunched, flinching whenever people inevitably hailed him. They were just as casually dressed as Hux was. Maybe operas here weren’t such a big deal as in the New Republic.

They queued for their tickets, Hux refusing any offer to be the first to be served. Kylo kept glancing around, taking in the tilted windows and a chandelier that seemed to be made of cutlery, asking himself what he was doing here. _Being a dick, that’s what,_ his mind supplied. The part of his personality that got him into this awful situation in the first place was silent, as always.

For a while he’d been worried that he was having conversations with the spirit of Ben Solo, who urged him to do good by denying himself his own emotions, his righteous anger. Telling him to cower and be humble. To not be a burden. That the people around him didn’t need to deal with his mess. Then his theory changed. Maybe it was Light and Darkness. An eternal push and pull, his very soul suspended like a doll as the Force tugged at him, past and future, curse and destiny.

Now he knew better.  He was just himself, always had been. He was never on the Light side. Ben Solo had been told a lie. It wasn’t even about balance. The Force was about the chaos and the struggle. The very thing that created the universe. One atom out of place, and then a bang. If he concentrated on it, he could feel everything moving away from the core, further and further away, out of reach. That same power was within him, desperate and screaming and always moving.

He looked at Hux and felt the ground beneath his feet shift. They were shooting through space this very minute, spinning, drifting apart.

“Good day,” Hux greeted the ticket seller.

Kylo interrupted, “One ticket please. Your best seat.”

Hux frowned at him, but the seller complied hastily, expressing her gratitude that the Supreme Leader graced the opera house with his presence. He was given an entry pin; he put it on Hux’s tunic.

“There.”

“What’s the meaning of this?” Hux asked, glowering. Kylo indicated to him that they should pull out of the queue. They retreated to a relatively private corner by the fluorescent billboard advertising that day’s programme.

“You should go alone,” Kylo said. “It was, erhm, invasive of me to insist to come.”

“What are you trying to say?” Hux asked, fingers idly playing with the pin. It flashed briefly.

Kylo squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I wanted to say sorry.”

“And what’s stopping you?”

Fucking bastard. “I’m saying sorry right now.”

“Can’t hear you,” Hux said with a smug grin. _Try me,_  he radiated. _Show me that you mean it._

“I’m sorry, you _are_  on sick leave and have a right to privacy—”

“Oh, was it only my privacy you violated?” Hux asked. “Is that how you feel?”

“I said I was sorry, don’t push it,” Kylo growled. “We both know I messed up spectacularly. Stop enjoying it so much.”

“Huh,” Hux said, looking him over. “Will wonders never cease?”

There was a beat.

“So,” Kylo said, motioning to the exit. He really wanted to be out of here.

“This is the part where you offer me something that helps me to forget my troubles.”

“Fine. Whatever. What do you want?”

Hux pursed his lips, pretending to think. Kylo glanced at the people flocking to the doors anxiously. There was still time, but not too much. “Spit it out, you’ll miss the show.”

“But you won’t,” Hux said slowly. Kylo blinked at him, confused. “Come on, Ren,” Hux went on, and he shivered, _he used your name, he—_ , “What happens when someone messes up? Don’t they get punished?”

Kylo let out a breath he didn’t realise he’s been holding. _Just as fucked-up as you are, just as damaged, he could have chosen a reward for himself but he wants retribution, because that’s all he knows, that’s his world_.

“What’s my punishment?” Kylo asked. Would Hux get out a whip from somewhere? Unlikely. Public humiliation, maybe? Another promotion? Yeah, that’s the one. Fleet Admiral Hux. But that wouldn’t hurt _him._

“You’ll sit through this opera,” Hux said. “It’s three hours long and it’s in my native tongue. It’ll bore you to death but your presence will raise morale. Then you will make a generous donation to the opera house. And the academy. For hurting my feelings.” He made a face. He thought he wasn’t worth it. That Kylo would show his true colors and tell him he was being ridiculous.

“Deal,” Kylo said, offering his hand. Hux reached out carefully, still expecting Kylo to back out. They shook on it, then Kylo yanked him closer and leaned to his ear. “How would you like it if I made Arkanis the capital of my new Empire?”

Hux made a noise that sounded like a cackle.

*

Kylo was beginning to reconsider his offer twenty minutes into the opera. It was, indeed, mindblowingly boring. He was actively suffering. He tried skimming the minds of fellow audience members for a translation, but it didn’t improve the experience.

He set his jaw. _Two hours and a half more._  It was easy to pacify Hux, but regaining that semblance of trust they had might take _years_ , and more than grandiose promises.

Kylo dared to look at him sideways, and his breath hitched. Hux was crying softly. _So you made him cry, you animal_. Silent sobs and bright eyes, face drenched, his palm over his mouth. He’d seen him like this one too many times. Hux had a tendency to cry when he was angry, anxious, humiliated or afraid. He hated himself for it. Kylo remembered him storming out of Snoke’s throne room shaking and tearing up, hissing “your turn” or “nice job” as they passed each other—Snoke always made it look like they had each other to blame for their failures.

Kylo had learned to see through Snoke’s antics. Maybe Hux hadn’t.

“Hey,” Kylo whispered as softly as he could, heart hammering. He had no idea how to deal with emotions—it was hard enough to control his own moods. Hux turned to him, hand still covering the most of his face. Awkwardly, Kylo put his palm over a shaking shoulder and patted it. “There, there,” he said, panic truly settling in.

“It’s just so beautiful,” Hux slurred.

Oh. Kylo dropped his gaze to the stage below, and felt like an idiot. Of course. Opera. Feelings. Maybe Hux’s entire world didn’t revolve around him.

As far as Kylo could understand, the opera was about a legendary warrior queen of Arkanis with an unpronounceable name who conquered the mainland and slaughtered many monsters. She was a contralto in the middle of an aria about bloodshed, waving her antique electro blades around. Kylo could appreciate a dual wielder, but all the weaponry on stage had yet to see any action.

He kept his hand on Hux’s shoulder, keeping his eyes on the stage and trying to feign mild interest. He wouldn’t shit all over something Hux liked so much, precisely because Hux expected him to. Hux didn’t pull away from his touch, but didn’t lean into it either. It was a delicate balance.

*

“You hated it,” Hux said, accusing.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? I was miserable the whole time. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a remarkable production.”

They were applauding the singers and the orchestra, giving them a standing ovation on account of Hux being a fucking nerd. The audience followed suit and the artists kept bowing and saluting. It’d been going on for a while, the lights dropping only to turn back on.

“I liked the part with the drone-birds,” Kylo said. “And dancing in the raining blood. Not to mention the thirty minute long suicide with a grenade. Very subtle visuals. Shouldn’t we have brought flowers?”

“What for?”

“To gift them to the singers on account of our sincere appreciation as the leaders of their people.”

He could feel Hux frowning at him. He had developed a sixth sense for it over the years. “What would they do with flowers?”  

“So you don’t do flowers, then,” Kylo murmured. Stars, that explained a lot. Hux also treated chocolate as a foreign concept.

His palms were burning from all the clapping, but he dreaded the moment they’d stop the applause and leave their repulsorpod. What would come next? Surely, a discussion would follow about all he did wrong and Hux’s future expectations. He came on this journey in hope of answers, but he just got more confused. Could they leave everything behind once they left Arkanis, or would his life be forever changed? The future was shifting its shape, endlessly evolving, the simplest act upsetting its premise and forcing it to mutate. He didn’t want to reach out for visions; he stopped trusting them after seeing Rey with her double-ended red lightsaber among his Knights, ruling the galaxy as master and apprentice. The possibility of it had slipped away as if he’d been holding oil in his hands. He felt the same about a future where Hux looked at him the way he did in his dreams. Like there was nothing left to forgive.

“Let’s get going,” Hux said when the stage lights were switched off for good. Kylo nodded distractedly and headed for the exit, then remembered himself and held the old-fashioned durasteel door open for Hux. Baby steps and everything.

“Ah, he has manners,” Hux grinned. Kylo let the knob go and the door hit Hux. “Ouch!”

“It couldn’t have hurt.”

“I say _ouch_ when the comb pulls my hair and that doesn’t hurt either, it’s an expression of general displeasure. This way.”

Kylo sensed a chance, and he would be damned not to take it. “Was General Displeasure your nickname during your first year on the job, or—”

“Shut up,” Hux said, rolling his eyes. Good. The eye-roll meant friendly banter, not bloody murder.  

Kylo followed him through a slim little corridor that seemed to function as an escape route for esteemed guests who didn’t like to mingle. It had tinted glass windows. Kylo was starting to feel impressed. He tried to focus on that, and not how his stomach felt like it’d drop any minute. They reached an automatic door that led them back to civilisation, and found themselves on a narrow bridge linking the opera house to the next complex of buildings. It was raining. Hux closed his eyes, and held his face up for the drizzling water.

“What now?” Kylo asked, wrapping his cloak around himself.

Hux squinted at him. “You told me I could have the day off.”

“And I meant it.”  

“So I’m having the day off.” Hux let out an amused little sound, like the mere idea was absurd.

“This is goodbye, then,” Kylo said, lingering.  Hux gave him a curious glance. Small raindrops caught in his hair and on his lashes; they were sitting on his tunic like tiny pearls. Kylo raised his hand to unclasp his cloak, then aborted the gesture. If he offered it, Hux would say no. Probably.

“I’m on shore leave, not retiring,” Hux said. “You won’t get rid of me that easily.”

“I wouldn’t know what to do without you,” Kylo blurted out, then bit his tongue. Hux tilted his head, disbelieving and very, _very_ pleased. “Seeing that you command my army,” Kylo added.

“Yes, I do,” Hux said, and winked.

Before Kylo could react in any way, he turned on his heels, and started marching over the bridge. Kylo stared after him, a tall figure caught in the rain.

What just happened could mean two things:

One: Hux was implying that he’d turn the army of the First Order on Kylo and see him murdered.

Two: they just flirted.

*

Kylo focused all his energy on work, only taking one break to meditate instead. One three-hour break. He also dropped by the gym. And may or may not have practiced his form with the lightsaber. At one point, a holodrama was involved for educational purposes. Then some good old holoporn for recreational reasons. _Twinky Omega Commando 2: Impounding Doom at the Bootycamp_. A classic. He didn’t give it the attention it deserved, too busy cataloging the occasions Hux had winked or smiled at him, while his hand happened to be on his cock. It didn’t strictly mean that he was thinking about Hux while masturbating. That would’ve been wrong. Or not. He wasn’t sure. He stopped caring around his third orgasm, imagining pinning Hux to the mattress with his knot. How restless and eager Hux would be, squirming beneath him. He’d hold his hips to keep him in place.  

“ _More, Supreme Leader—Let’s do it again—”_

_“What do we say?”_

_“Please, sir, please—”_

_“No.”_

_“Ren for fuck’s sake just kriffing give it to me—”_

_“Yeah, that’s the Hux I know. That’s the one I—_ ”

He moaned out loud, and heard the door to Hux’s room open. He dropped his cock immediately and fumbled to put it away. It smeared handlotion and precome over his briefs.

“Vents on,” he whispered, hoarse. The room system followed the command. He rolled his tank top down (he had flashed his abs in the heat of the moment) and got his suspenders back on. There was no time for his outer tunic or cape. Tissues, hand sanitizer, unarousing thoughts about hutts. He sat down on the floor cross-legged, strategically placed his datapad over his lap, closed the pornsite, got back to his notifications. Eighty-six new messages. Wasn’t that just marvelous.

He rubbed his nose nervously, glancing at the bathroom door. He was pretty sure this door would start to appear in his dreams. Opening and closing, revealing Hux waiting on the bed with spread legs and nimble fingers working himself open, or Hux with angry tears in his eyes, spitting his disdain, _you did this to me_.

When the door opened in reality, there was nothing dramatic about it. Hux stood there in his white tunic, a towel wrapped around his hair, holding his mug of tea. Kylo wanted him more than any of the Huxes his imagination could come up with.

“Answer the door when someone knocks, prat.”

“Wasn’t closed. Means you can come in.”

“What are you doing on the floor?”

“Sitting. Is it still raining?”

Hux snorted. “Are we playing Obvious Hour? Yes.”

“Why don’t they just keep up the shield all the time?”

“That’d be an awful waste of resources.”

“Right.”

The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. Kylo would’ve called it _companionable_ , even. Hux leaned to the doorframe and carefully tasted the tea. Little good it did to him: his smell was warm and overwhelming. No wonder he kept on his soaked-through clothes. He could probably use some cooling down. Kylo’s gaze dropped, noting that Hux was barefeet. He liked the intimacy of it. It also made him freak out a bit. What was expected of him? What did Hux want to achieve by coming to him like this?

“Got a lot of work done?” Hux asked.

“Left some for you.”

“How considerate. Let’s get to it.”

“You have the whole day off.”

“Time doesn’t exist. Come on. Reports.” He chugged down some of the tea, still lingering by the door as if he was collecting his courage. Kylo didn’t want to hope for something he hadn’t yet earned. He glanced at the datapad, feeling guilty about hiding his erection with it. He couldn’t comprehend anything that was on the screen. The letters were dancing.

“How was your day, by the way?” he asked, scrolling through the messages.

Hux looked taken aback for a moment. Kylo wondered when was the last time someone asked him how he was doing. “My day? It was satisfactory,” Hux said on a voice more fit for a mission report. “I went to a spa. Soaked in a thermal bath, dropped by a sauna. Hoped for a massage, but they were booked; visited a bonesmith instead.”

“A what?”

“A bonesmith,” Hux repeated, slightly embarrassed. He probably just realised the word didn’t exist in Basic. “Puts your bones and joints back into their proper places via a special massage. It’s extremely painful but good for one’s health.”

“So that’s how you relaxed.”

“Ha-ha. My back doesn’t hurt anymore, so I have no regrets. Listen.” With that, he cracked his fingers; Kylo braced himself for that awful popping sound which usually followed and which drove him crazy every time Hux did it—but there was nothing.

“Okay. Sending my congratulations to the bonesmith.”

“They’d be pleased to hear. Anyhow; I’d like to hear the reports now.” He squinted at Kylo. “Is there something wrong with the fleet?”

“No, why?”

“I’m getting the impression you’re deliberately digressing.”

“It’s just—” I _think I like talking to you. As a person to a person. Isn’t that absurd?_  “Mitaka messed up,” he finished with a theatrical sigh. He still had trouble focusing on the messages, but Mitaka always messed up, so it was a safe lie.

“Blast it,” Hux hissed, and finally stepped into the room. He dropped to the floor next to Kylo and tugged his makeshift turban open with his free hand. The towel slipped down to his shoulders. “Give me the details.”

*

After about fifty minutes of discussing Mitaka’s fictional mishap, battlestations, dead leads on the Resistance, and how to best obliterate slavery on the planets that had recently fallen under First Order rule, Kylo’s favorite part began: bitching together. Kylo used to feel guilty about how close he felt to Hux on these special occasions, when they would just rant about something they mutually despised. It was the type of intense bonding experience Snoke would’ve forbidden them to have. Ever since Kylo had claimed the throne and really started to work closely with Hux, almost all their meetings had culminated in it. It made him wonder what he’d missed.

Hux was livid, raging over Starkiller and Scarif and _what’s the point of planetary shields anyway_. The phrase “don’t even get me started” was mentioned several times, making Kylo do everything in his power to get Hux really going, until he was pale with delighted anger and spitting his words. Kylo always thought he was beautiful like this. Sublime and dangerous.

He kept glancing at Hux’s mouth. His kiss would taste like fire.

“And I told him ‘so it’s basically a concussion shield’ and he said yes; and I had to ask ‘do you think our greatest threat is space debris?’ and he _stopped to think about it_ —”

“Oh no,” Kylo said, covering his grin with his hand. Hux frowned, tilting his head with a nervous twitch.

“What happened?”

“Huh?”

“To your hand.”

“It’s nothing.” Kylo surveyed his knuckles. “Did some boxing. It’s barely bleeding.”

Hux kept on frowning as he shifted his weight. He was sitting on his heels, back rigid, an arm’s length away from Kylo. It felt like no amount of fraternizing could close that distance, ever. “Do you want me to heal it?” Hux offered, tone strangely pointed. Like he was daring Kylo to give the wrong answer.      

“Sure?” Kylo said, uncertain. He wished Hux would just go back to his story. The sudden change from burning mania to cold determination was giving him whiplash.

Hux reached out for Kylo’s hand, brows furrowed, and clasped his fingers over his wrist. His touch was enough to make Kylo swallow a gasp. Then Hux bent down, and licked at Kylo’s knuckles.

Kylo was pretty sure his brain short-circuited. This was a dream. No, he was in a coma. Maybe he died. Although the hot, wet caresses of Hux’s tongue felt very real. So did the flutter of his pale lashes over his skin.

“Will it...help?” Kylo asked, breathless. Hux scowled at him, plush lips still pressed to his hand.

“Of course. The enzymes in an omega’s saliva speed up an alpha’s healing process. Surely, you must know that?” He looked a bit panicked when he added, “Why did you think your face healed so well?”

“The bacta—”

“It took us a while to get to that.”

“You licked my face,” Kylo said, disbelieving.

“No. I spat on you.” He pulled back, but kept holding Kylo’s wrist. The place where he’d licked him was tingling pleasantly. “Is this weird?”

“It’s not weird,” Kylo said.

“The practice is not strictly sexual,” Hux hastened to add. “I wouldn’t even have to be in heat. Stars, I can’t believe you didn’t know.” He turned Kylo’s hand, inspecting his injuries from a new angle. “It’s not magic. I bet it’ll still bruise. You should’ve been more careful. You know, an omega can really help you in these kind of situations, it’s an evolutional residue, you’re supposed to be protecting our family and I’m to heal your injuries—” His head shot up. “Not like I couldn’t protect my own family. If I had one, that is. Or that it’s…”

“Intimate,” Kylo finished for him. Hux’s grip on his wrist tightened.

“I made it weird,” he said.

“It feels nice, actually. I can feel the difference.” He ran his thumb over the back of Hux’s hand, cautious, tender. “And I should thank you for spitting in my face.”

Hux was benumbed. “You’re welcome.”

“Would you be okay going on?” Kylo asked, tone hushed, as if he was talking to an animal he didn’t want to scare off. Hux was mesmerised like a krugga deer in the spotlight. “I could give you something in return.”

“Like what?” Hux said. There was a surge of emotion—something directed at Kylo, greedy and crimson.

“How about a massage?” Kylo touched him again, a fleeting caress, just with the tip of his fingers. Hux looked him in the eye. His pupils were blown wide.

“Are you any good?”

“So I’m told. To be fair, it’s been ages.”

Hux squinted, considering the offer, then dipped down with a hum. He lapped at Kylo’s knuckles. “Might as well,” he whispered.

Kylo had to look away. It was obscene. His gaze found the empty thermomug; a reminder that Hux’s heat was barely smouldering. And yet.

Hux treated it like business, lapping at his knuckles with single-minded valor. The noises he made were pretty suggestive though: faint, throaty moans and little gasps. He moved from his right hand to the left, lavishing it with attention. Kylo felt all the tension slipping away from his body, his taut muscles relax and his cock stiffen. _Not strictly sexual my ass,_  he thought, breath coming hard. Hux was clearly testing how much he could get away with without changing the nature of their relationship; upsetting the balance.

He finished with a kiss pressed to Kylo’s hand.

“All done,” he said, running his fingers up to Kylo’s bare arms. “Your turn.” He squeezed, checking the firmness of Kylo’s biceps, making a face like he was trying to determine whether Kylo was up to the job.

“On the bed,” he growled. Hux met his gaze and he was hit with a surge of hunger. _Maneater,_ he thought as Hux got to his feet, looking around lazily.

“How do you want me?” he asked, playing with the hem of his tunic. “I mean, should I get undressed?”

“However you’re more comfortable,” Kylo said slowly, determined to resist him just a little longer. He knew it was a game; he knew Hux was teasing him.

“My clothes are still damp,” Hux complained, and got rid of the towel. The tunic followed. Kylo felt like he was about to pass out. He wasn’t even allowed a glimpse; Hux was standing with his back to him and approached the bed wearing nothing but his black leggings. His little ass jiggled with every step.

Kylo took a deep breath and counted to ten.

“I hope you know we can’t fuck tonight,” Hux said, crawling over the bed. “I’m all dry and can’t even maintain an erection. My libido is very low.” He spread out on his belly, pressing his hips to the mattress.

 _What is it like when it’s not low,_  Kylo’s mind screamed. _Tonight, he said tonight; what about tomorrow? What about—Force just the shape of him—Have mercy—_

Hux looked at him over a naked shoulder, back arched, legs slightly open. “So I expect an actual massage. To thank me for healing your hand.”

 _If I stand up he’ll see that I’m hard. Bet he knows anyway._ “Close your eyes.” Would he oblige? Did he trust Kylo enough?

Hux’s eyes fell shut. Kylo sighed deeply, his legs carrying him to the bed. He felt weightless. The dark ripples of water painted strange shadows over Hux’s bare back, complimenting the soft glow of the lamps.

Kylo sat down on the edge of the bed, pondering where to begin. On the Supremacy II he’d have luxurious lotions and oils, but of course Hux wouldn’t be convenient. He rubbed his palms together to warm them up, looking over Hux’s body offered to him, seeking out points of tension. He decided to start on his shoulders. Hux shuddered when he felt his touch.

“Is the pressure to your liking?” Kylo asked, deliberately clinical.

“Harder,” Hux said, deliberately not. Kylo pressed down, lost in the softness of Hux. Who had soft _shoulders_? He kneaded the tense muscles there, breathing through his nose.

He was lightheaded with desire, but there was something else—something that told him that this was right, that this was enough. He moved on to the shoulderblades, imagining that he and Hux were in a cave thousands of years ago; that he had just returned from a hunt, bloodied and weak, and Hux had nursed him back to health. That he was expressing his gratitude like this. _You have the power to heal me wholly, body, mind, spirit_ , he told him on an ancient language, and they made love on fur covers next to a crackling fire. It was before the stars were conquered, before the Jedi arrived. Maybe they could hide from them, seek cover in each other in their little cave on the edge of the galaxy.  

“Your hands are massive,” Hux mumbled into the pillow, pulling Kylo’s spirit back from afar. He lay his palms flat over Hux’s lower back, enveloping him in warmth.

“You might be right,” he said. Hux arched into his touch.

“Why do you know how to do this anyway?” he asked, sounding slightly annoyed. As always.

“Jedi school.”

It was easier to talk about it now that Skywalker was gone. Mostly gone. His energy was like the smell of rain before a storm. Rey was the thunder. He was ready to face the elements. He felt ready, like this.

“I’m picturing a religious orgy with the postgraduates,” Hux said. “Don’t correct me if I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong,” Kylo said immediately. “That part is a Sith teaching. I incorporated it into my studies later, but in any case—it wasn’t like that with the, the former students of—”

“Padawans,” Hux supplied, like Kylo didn’t know the word, like he wasn’t avoiding it deliberately. His eye twitched, and he pressed down harder.

“Yes. It was an extracurricular activity, mostly after lightsaber training. Your side can give you hell after a day of practicing with only one hand. So we sat in a circle and did this, me and my friends. We later improved our techniques.”

“What is it like growing up in a cult?”

“It wasn’t a—” _Wasn’t it?_  “Well. It was lonely, especially after I turned twenty-one. I was the only alpha, stranded on a moon with a bunch of stuck-up betas.”

“Ouch. Condolences to your blue balls.”

“Thanks, they’ll be fondly remembered. Did your gender give you any trouble in the Academy?”

“It gave me the opposite of troubles,” Hux mused. “Can you do my thighs?”

“Okay,” Kylo murmured. He wouldn’t keep staring at Hux’s ass. He wouldn’t. However small and flat. Cute. Cushy. “So you had lots of fun while I was—”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Hux squirmed a bit. Kylo rubbed soothing circles over his thighs with his newly healed knuckles.

“I wonder what we’d have have made of each other if we’d met back then,” he said.

“Wouldn’t you have just sliced my head clear off?”

“Skywalker had a sort of non-violent approach.”

“Oh yes, he just non-violently blew up the Death Star twice,” Hux murmured. “I’d love to hear his teachings about peace, we could invite everybody who lost their family thanks to him. Could fill up an auditorium. Or a planet.”

“That’s fascinating,” Kylo hummed. Hux’s ass was kind of distracting him from the shared trauma of Imperials. Hux went on venting about Galen Erso, which was just about perfect. They were back to bitching while Kylo had his hands on him. It made him feel more at ease. He rubbed Hux’s calves while making noises of agreement at the appropriate moments, then turned his attention to his feet. Hux jumped a bit.

“Ticklish?”

“Not if you’re not being this delicate.”  

“Gotcha,” Kylo said, massaging his heels harder. He wasn’t very excited about this part, but he wanted to make Hux’s whole body pilant. He imagined kneading his ass, coating his cock in oils and bringing him off. Using nothing but his hands to make him come again and again, massage his prostate. _We can’t fuck tonight_ , Hux said. That _must’ve_ implied it wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities on other nights.

If that was the case, Kylo had to come up with a way to impress him. To give him the sort of pleasure no other alpha could.

“May I use the Force?” he asked quietly.

“Depends where, when, and what for,” Hux said, voice muffled by the pillow.

“On you. Now. As part of the massage.” He gave him an encouraging caress. Hux’s toes curled.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m interested. You’ll stop if I hate it and start screaming, right?”

“Of course. But it’s nothing intrusive or painful. It’s like—I’ve already explained Force fields and Force empathy to you once, right? Combining those abilities—”

“Just show me,” Hux said, kicking out blindly. Kylo tsked and gave his foot a slight swat.

“Try to be still.”

“I’m perfectly still.”

Kylo adjusted his position so he was sitting in line with Hux’s hips, hand resting on the small of his back. He looked him over, checking that he was as relaxed as he could be (which was not a lot) then focused on his face, watching for any sign of displeasure. Hux’s head was burrowed in the pillow, but he saw the suggestion of his profile.

“Breathe for me,” Kylo said gently, voice even lower than usual.

“Am I supposed to do some special breathing, or did you just remind me to breathe?”

“I want you to be mindful of your breathing.”

“Hell. No wonder you killed everybody in your school.” After he was done complaining, Hux started exaggerating his inhales, like he was going into labor. Kylo didn’t allow his mind to go there, and closed his eyes, focusing on Hux’s Force signature. It was like dark matter, invisible but incomprehensibly significant, holding the fabric of the universe together. A beautiful emptiness.

Kylo just had to let his own Force-field encompass it. Huddle up against Hux’s soul, share his warmth.

“Oh,” Hux said, then again, “ _Oh._ ”

“What is it like?”

“Unexpected. I’m not sure what’s happening.”

“You’re becoming aware of the Force surrounding you, coming from you, passing through you.”

“Is this how it feels?” Hux said, dazzled.

“Not exactly. You’re connecting to your Force energy through mine. When you’re Force-sensitive, there’s no filter, and there are no borders. You’d be linked to everything around you, not just me.”

Hux was silent for a bit. Kylo felt his breath coming faster, his heart beating harder; but there was no distress, just excitement. A taste of foreign power. He caressed his back, letting the Force flow through his fingers while washing over the very essence of Hux with his whole being, wave after wave, rocking him like the sea.

“I always liked your mind,” he said. “It’s soothing to be around you, for all our fights and arguments. At the core of you there’s silence. A place where I can come to rest.”

“I’m sure I’m not the only Force-insensitive person you know,” Hux began, but Kylo interrupted.

“You’re the only one I care about. Force-insensitive or not.”

Hux swallowed around a lump in his throat. Kylo could feel it as if he’d done it  himself. “It’s rather overwhelming,” Hux said, and Kylo immediately started to pull back. Hux had to be handled with care.

“How about now?” he asked. Just a light touch—like rolling around in silk covers. A freedom of movement and indulgence, Kylo’s energy just waiting around to be touched.

“This is nice,” Hux said, almost purring. “Very nice indeed.”

Kylo kept them connected as he opened his eyes, and ran his palm over Hux’s back. He resumed the massage, barely stopping himself from bending over to kiss every freckle or nuzzle into Hux’s hair.

It felt like they belonged together, like two atoms combining to form something new, but he knew he was getting ahead of himself. The Force had no sense of human-made restrictions: it pushed him towards Hux, and there was a responding pull he never felt before.

“Can you use this for sex?” Hux asked.

“I could,” Kylo said. “If that’s what you wanted.”

Hux peered up at him. Kylo couldn’t help but smile; it was a sorry little attempt, but still the best smile he managed in years. It felt right to give it to Hux.

“I need to think about it,” Hux said. “It’d change too much between us. I also have to consider my current position. And of course, yours—not the rut, but being the Supreme Leader.”

“Being the Supreme Leader is not my current position, it’s my occupation.”

“For now,” Hux winked, and once again Kylo couldn’t tell whether he was being threatened or if it was just the way Hux flirted. He wriggled a bit, and Kylo knew it was his cue to let go of him. He pulled back his hands and the Force connection dispersed like mist.

Hux rolled over to his back, looking up at Kylo with something mischievous and incredibly sad in his gaze. Kylo bit his lips.

“I could get used to this view,” he said.

“Sod off,” Hux said softly. Kylo knew it’d kill him to say goodbye, even for the night, but that’s what he had to do. No kiss, no hug. Watching Hux get up, collect his clothes, his towel, and mug felt much more significant. Kylo remained sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting to see whether Hux would be back in the morning. If this was the last time he was allowed to touch him, he’d have to make his peace with it.

*

Kylo dreamed about a version of events where the right words were being said. Hux stayed the night, spooning him and petting his hair while they talked about nothing, drifting off to sleep.

He woke up to his alarm. He deactivated it and rolled to his side, staring at the calm blue sea blankly. He missed the warmth of Hux from his dream, his naked chest pressed to his back, his sleepy voice, and how his lips brushed against his nape. He realised with a hollowing finality that his dreams, haunting him for years, might have been glimpses to an alternative reality. A universe where he didn’t ruin everything. Where Hux smiled and called him _Kylo_ , called him _love._

His commlink chimed with a notification. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. He wasn’t ready for the day to began. He wasn’t ready for this world. There was a chime again. He called the commlink to hand, and squinted at the screen, knees pulled up to his chest as if he could just curl up and hide from whatever was requirying his attention.

The messages were from Hux.

 

 

 

> Supreme Leader Ren, I require your presence in private hot tub nr#9. We have urgent matters to discuss. Best regards, Gr. Ma. A. Hux, commander of FO fleet etc.
> 
> Very urgent. 

He kicked off the cover and scrambled to his feet in a panicked hurry, then rushed to the refresher to make himself presentable. This was it. This was his chance to make those dreams real, or accept that they’d never reflect his future.

*

His heart was beating in his throat as he made his way through the tunnels of the hotel in his black bathrobe. The fishes must’ve sensed his nervous apprehension because they were fleeing from him. The guests he ran into saluted him, but avoided his gaze. He knew he looked crazed.

He had no idea where the kriffing private hot tubs were, but it was easy enough to follow Hux’s Force-signature. It was pulling him in like a black hole. He was reaching the event horizon: one step, then another, and there would be no turning back.

He arrived into a circular room, the noise of bubbles muting the faint chatter of esteemed guests. The tubs were behind mirrored walls, making him feel like he was chasing Hux’s energy through a maze. The numbers on the glimmering doors were in Arkanisian. Fucking typical.

He closed his eyes, lifting his senses above the bubbling noise, the aromatic smells, the hot, steamy air; _there, there._  He walked to the control panel and punched in the code the Force whispered. The door slid open, revealing the oval tub, shining blue and surrounded by mirrors.  Hux was waiting for him, wearing the tiny speedos from yesterday. The water came up to his shoulders, but it wasn’t enough to entirely wash away his feverish scent.

Hux hadn’t drunk his tea that morning. He was in heat.

“All hail. Get in.”

Kylo all but tore off his bathrobe. He had short swim trunks on, but even those felt like too much. He climbed into the tub, eager, sending the water splashing over the brim. Hux eyed him breathlessly, pupils dark and mouth slightly open. Kylo threw his arms over the edge to guide Hux’s attention to his pecs and the wound he had apparently spat on at one point.

“What’s good?”

“I think you know what’s good,” Hux said. So much for playing it cool. Kylo couldn’t pretend he didn’t want to pull Hux into his lap with the Force and let him ride his dick two feet away from an elderly couple enjoying their holiday.

“You made your decision, then,” he managed.

“I made mine; I can’t make yours.”

“Let’s do it,” Kylo said, surging forward. Hux put his foot against his chest to stop him.

“We need to talk first,” he said firmly.

Kylo gaped. It was just fucking chest-to-foot contact and it already felt electric, skin on skin, absolution within reach. He was so turned on already he felt like he could come just from this, gulping down Hux’s scent and reveling in being near him. He had the sexiest legs Kylo had ever seen, and he’d die without them being wrapped around his hips soon. He needed that to happen. He needed, he needed—

“Let’s talk, then,” he said. Hux pulled back. Kylo whined.

“I chose this setting because being in water helps distract us from the scents. I take it you’re going into a rut right now?”

“It feels like I’m going into two ruts,” Kylo said. “Fuck. No. Three.”

“That’s not biologically po—”

“Please cover your chest. I’m not above begging.”

“Look away like an adult,” Hux scoffed.

Kylo blinked away needy tears and glanced around. Fucking mirrors everywhere. Whose sick idea was that. There was a long, narrow window looking at the sea, but it was directly behind Hux. His orange hair looked fascinating contrasted with the indigo water. Kylo had the absurd thought to wrap Hux in the sea, give it to him like a blanket or a kingly cape.

“Anyhow,” Hux said, “I think it’s best if I get right to the point. In my early twenties, when I was a young officer with boisterous ambitions, I was convinced that ascending ranks didn’t only benefit me, but the whole galaxy. My sentiment is unchanged. Indeed, I am certain that an individual with my singular talents is obliged to—”

“ _Hux_ ,” Kylo whimpered. “Stop quoting your memoirs and—”

“My memoirs are nothing like this,” Hux said, offended. He ran a hand through his hair. It was enough to get Kylo distracted. “What I’m trying to explain is that I’ve always slept with my superior officers or other highly influential people with a wonderful purpose in mind—”

“I’m your highly influential superior,” Kylo reminded him readily.

“Yes, I’ve noticed,” Hux said coolly. “But what I’m getting at is that with you, it’s different.”

Kylo frowned. “Oh?” No. No, no, no, no. Hux can’t be so cruel that he’d neglect to take his medicine just to taunt him with what he can’t have. Yesterday went so well. He just needed another chance to prove himself. Nobody was ever giving him _chances._  They made their decisions and pointed their weapons.

Kylo snarled, furious at himself. He must’ve messed up again. If he wasn’t stupid with his fucking rut he could figure out how to turn the tide, how to impress Hux, because what he did so far wasn’t enough, it was never enough—

Hux cupped his face. He stilled. Peered down at him. _Why did I ever allow you to have so much power over me— (He didn’t need your permission, you know.)_

“Given our history,” Hux said gently, “our situation, our goals—it couldn’t be a one-heat fling. I’d expect you to be committed.”

Kylo frowned. “What are you trying to say?”

Hux brushed his thumb over his mouth, pulling at his upper lip to make him show teeth. “I’d expect you to mark me,” he said, almost dreamy.

Kylo’s thoughts halted. The brattish, arrogant complaints of his mind were muted as he was pulled into Hux’s silence. It wasn’t exactly a quiet haven; more like an anechoic chamber, absorbing every sound wave from Hux’s panicked panting. He was afraid. He was always afraid. Kylo had the ability to calm and protect him. That was enough. That was all that was needed of him.

“I’d be happy to be your bonded mate,” he said. _I’d be happy._

He wasn’t sure who leaned in for a kiss first; they stopped halfway, searching each other’s gazes, then his lips were on Hux’s and they were tasting the promise they’d just made. The lazy slide of Hux’s tongue made him moan deep in his throat. He fisted Hux’s hair to pull him closer, deeper; the strands were just as soft as he imagined. Hux pressed up to him, slippery with water, squirming in delight as Kylo gripped him by his hip with his free hand.

He squirmed a little too much. Kylo didn’t know at first what happened when they fell back; Hux didn’t break the kiss underwater. He closed his legs around Kylo’s waist and stole his breath as the warmth of the bubbling water and Hux’s closeness overwhelmed his senses.

The sad reality was that they both needed air. Kylo was the first to break the surface, pulling Hux after him and making sure he was okay. They were both panting, chests heaving, holding onto each other. Grinning. Giddy. Safe.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Kylo rasped, running his hands over Hux’s arms, his neck, his back, needing to touch him everywhere. Hux’s eyes were a vivid blue-green, eyelids drooping, pretty lips parted and kissed swollen.

“That was the plan,” he said.

“What’s the plan now?”

“The improved plan is that you fuck me right here.”

Kylo chuckled, disbelieving, but Hux was already climbing into his lap.

“Are you sure? We almost drowned and there are people around.”

“I don’t care if you don’t,” Hux said as he brushed wet strands of hair back from Kylo’s forehead. “They can’t hear us if we keep it down.”

“Need my cock that bad?” Kylo smirked.

Hux looked at him very seriously. “As a matter of fact, yes.”

Kylo felt his cock twitch. “Then we better stuff that little fuckhole, huh?”

Hux rolled his eyes. _Success._  Kylo hooked his thumb under the swimsuit’s waistband, eyes flicking over Hux’s face who was straddling him triumphantly. “It won’t work unless you move,” he told him.

“What, all these muscles and you can’t tear someone’s swim briefs off?” Hux pinched his arm. Kylo hardly felt it. He kept looking at him as he yanked hard, tearing the swimsuit as Hux yelped. The Force was involved. He didn’t need to know that.

Kylo tossed the discarded swimwear aside with a deliberately impassive expression. It melted off his face the minute he dropped his gaze to Hux’s lap. The bubbles didn’t let him see much, but he saw enough. He cupped Hux’s straining cock, pressing it flat to his soft belly.

“You’re into this.”

“Yes, I generally perform sexual acts I enjoy.”

“What do we have here?” his left hand slid between Hux’s perky cheeks; he waited a second before he pushed a finger in. Hux jumped, swallowing back a scream as he held onto Kylo’s shoulders for dear life. “Wow. Wetter and hotter than the tub.”

“Fucking get your cock inside me,” Hux gritted. He pushed himself up enough that his nipples were in line with Kylo’s face. He flicked his tongue out and licked at the right one, making Hux shudder. He pushed his finger deeper in.   

“Ready?”

“Yes, fuck you, put it in me!”

Kylo smirked again, letting go of Hux’s cock to untie his trunks with leisure. He didn’t need to pull them down completely, but he attempted to wiggle out of them anyway, just to draw this out. The wait was just as torturous for him as it was for Hux. That was the beauty of it.

“Your fucking mind-games,” Hux muttered.

“What a foul mouth you have, Grand Marshal. I’m positively appalled.” He got hold of his cock and pulled back a bit to aim it. He used his other hand to spread Hux’s cheeks.

“It’s the heat,” Hux said, gripping Kylo’s shoulders and staring down at the bubbles. “Self-control slips. Will you start fucking me?”

Kylo let the head of his cock catch on the rim. Hux mewled, then covered his mouth.

“That was cute,” Kylo said with genuine pleasure.

“I’m sure everyone around us agrees,” Hux muttered.

“We can still go back to your room,” Kylo offered, rubbing his cock over Hux’s crack.

“No, I can’t—I wouldn’t make it that far, you have no idea how long I’ve waited, I want it now. Will you just fuck me at once? Please.” He pressed his forehead to Kylo’s, and repeated, eyes squeezed shut, “Please.”

It was impossible to refuse. Kylo slid in, getting a good hold on Hux’s hips to guide him. He was so tight. Beautiful, lovely Hux. A perfect catastrophe. “Didn’t even fuck yourself this morning, huh?” he whispered into his ear. “Your little vibrator wasn’t doing the trick anymore. You needed cock.”

“Yes,” Hux gasped. “Oh stars, how are you so—You’re huge, I knew you would be huge, _stars there’s more_ , oh, oh, oh—”

“I’ve got you. Look at you, you’re taking it so well.”

“Whatever. Can you do that—”

“What?” Kylo asked, grinding in steadily, feeling Hux’s hot flesh yield.

“What we did yesterday—The Force thing, I liked that. Kept thinking about it.” He pressed a quick kiss to Kylo’s lips and whispered, “Didn’t use the vibrator, you dirty voyeur, but I did finger myself until my wrist just quit on me. I woke up all wet for you, you see.”

“Tease,” Kylo panted as he bottomed out. Hux’s breath hitched. Kylo rubbed their noses together, feeling the flutter of Hux’s lashes on his closed eyelids. “You could’ve just knocked. I would’ve let you in, let you sit on my cock first thing in the morning.”

“I needed to—” Hux said, then gasped again as Kylo made the Force wash over him. “ _Gabh transna ort fhéin_ , it feels good—” he moaned, starting to bounce on Kylo’s cock.

The Force suggested that Hux just told him to fuck himself sideways. Kylo didn’t mind terribly.

“It’s so hot when you use that language,” Kylo said.

“Tough shit, I mostly use Basic—Oh that’s it, that’s it—”

“How do you say ‘that’s it?’”

“ _Cúl tóna_ ,” Hux wheezed. It meant something else.

Kylo smiled slyly, beginning to fuck him in earnest. He let go of Hux’s hips, hooking his arms under his knees instead so he could lift his whole weight and just drop him down onto his cock. Hux threw his head back, mouth open to a silent scream. The water kept splashing and their Force-connection was pulsing with the rhythm of their fucking.

Slowly, carefully, Kylo expanded his reach and made sure that no one was overhearing them. When he was certain nobody was listening, he wrapped a throbbing energy field around Hux’s cock, making him cry out.

“You prick—! No, no, don’t stop—Shit, it’s just like in dreams—”

Kylo halted for a second, then resumed rutting in and out at a punishing pace, lifting Hux to his liking with the Force thrumming around them and pumping Hux’s twitching cock. It was a lot—but he had to give it his everything.

“What dreams?” he asked, pulling back a bit so he could look Hux in the eye. He was trembling and sobbing with pleasure, already wrecked, but not stopping for a moment, greedy as ever.

“Just my dreams,” he said, clenching around him with every downward motion; Kylo thought he’d pass out after a particularly good squeeze, but they just kept going, hard and fast, the water splattering onto the floor. “They began after we first met—Didn’t know it was about you, ah, just—Never saw you without your mask, the man in my dreams was just a handsome stranger with a wicked smile and the biggest cock—He made me laugh, he fucked me raw, it was you—When you first took off your mask I slapped you—”

“I remember that,” Kylo said; they shared the dreams, they shared a future—and more importantly: they had this moment. Hux arched his back as Kylo yanked him onto his cock, the energy surrounding them pulsing harder.

“I, ah, thought you were doing some elaborate magic prank—But then I convinced myself I must’ve known how you looked like, maybe I saw a file, forgot about it, at any case—It’s ugh, perfectly normal to dream about people you spend so much hah, time with and ahh—I think I liked you—I had this crush, it was so embarrassing—”

“What changed?”

“Nothing,” Hux said, looking at him half-awed, half-crazed. “I thought you’d never want me, but apparently—” He clenched around his cock, making Kylo moan and bury his head in Hux’s shoulder. Hux hugged him closer, pressing a kiss to an exposed ear. He began to nibble on it as Kylo’s hips twitched up into his wet heat.

The Force grew around them, spreading like darkness, vast and comforting. Kylo felt like they were neutron stars about to collide, and the Force was the galaxy. He had fire in his belly and Hux was responding to it, both of them caught in a spiraling death dance as their gravity grabbed for each other. _Hold on just a little longer._

“Don’t let me come before you,” Hux whispered, more like an order than a plea.

“I’m close.”

“Good. Say fuckhole again.”

“Fuckhole,” Kylo said, well-articulated, slamming in deep. Hux laughed. He _actually_ laughed, eyes wrinkling up and smile bright.

“No, make it sound sexy.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you, fuckhole,” Kylo said.

Hux nose twitched, annoyed, but his smile didn’t disappear. “Boo.”

Kylo had to kiss him. Hux sucked on his tongue, taking his cock deeper, _I got you_. Kylo came with a breathless gasp, almost a whimper, knot swelling to keep his flowing cum inside Hux.

“That’s it,” Hux whispered. He repeated in his native tongue, “ _Sin é._ ”

Kylo felt the force of Hux’s orgasm surging through their connection. He dipped his head down and sank his teeth into Hux’s neck. Hux’s trembling fingers tangled in his hair, keeping him there as Kylo sucked a mark over his throat.

_Tell me how to say ‘mine,’ how to say ‘yours.’ Teach me what it means._

Hux began to hum a low, soothing melody. A lullaby or a love song, maybe.

 

 _* a f t e r m a t h_ _*_

The exhaust gas from their shuttle dispersed in the Supremacy II’s hangar. Hux strode down the ramp, his uniform impeccable but his steps uncertain. Kylo followed closely, his hood doing nothing to hide the dark shadows under his eyes or his bleeding lips.

They just hadn’t been able to stop fucking on Arkanis. When their pilot had arrived it felt like he was leading a rescue mission.

Kylo had eaten little in the past cycle, and drunk even less. Hux was all right. It was Kylo’s instinct and his responsibility to prioritise that.

It had taken them three orgasms to get out of that hot tub. They hadn’t even gotten through the corridor without an accident. Memories had had to be wiped. Then Hux’s room. Stars, that room and every flat surface it had. Every square centimeter.

When it’d been decided that a sonic was in order, they’d gone to the refresher and just couldn’t leave. They had fucked in the tub. Fucked in the sonic. Over the counter. On the ground, with and without towels. Kylo was surprised they hadn’t attempted to climb to the ceiling just to claim it.

Then they’d made their way to Kylo’s room. They’d started experimenting with switching. By the end of it, it hadn’t been a room anymore. They’d been found tangled in the ruins of what once was furniture, huddled together. Hux had fallen asleep on Kylo’s cock. He had pulled out, finished on his own, dropped dead.

They’d fucked twice on the shuttle. It was a twenty minute ride.

Hux told him he was on pills. Would the pills be enough?

He knew damn well they were on their way to fuck. The stormtroopers lined up as if they wanted to congratulate them on getting laid. Hux was radiating smugness with Kylo’s mark over his neck. He carried himself like a queen, like the Supremacy II now belonged to him. The truth was, it did.

Kylo got momentarily confused when they passed his chambers. Then understanding dawned on him. Of course they were headed elsewhere. He couldn’t take it any longer, he had to entwine their fingers. Press closer. Sniff at Hux’s collar.

Hux didn’t pull back.

“We’re here,” he said to an overjoyed Kylo. The doors to the throne room opened. It was a perfect replica of Snoke’s design, including the Praetorian guards. Their empty, maimed armour, and Snoke’s skull as a trophy, directly above the stone throne. Hux took the steps, still holding Kylo’s hand. Kylo unclasped his cape and covered the throne with it. He didn’t want Hux to be cold.

“Undress,” he said.

“Finally,” Hux sighed, peeling off his jodhpurs as if Kylo’s come wasn’t dripping out of him, mixed with his slick.

He got naked quickly and efficiently, leaving on nothing but the greatcoat over his shoulders. The room tended to be chilly. Kylo discarded his tunic, his tank top, then he got impatient and sat down with boots, pants and gloves still on, fly open. Hux scowled at him, amused, and lowered himself onto his hard cock. They both sighed with relief. They didn’t start moving, not yet. It was enough to share their breath, as close to each other as they could get.

“I like it here,” Hux mumbled.

“I bet.”

“Would make a lovely nest.”

Kylo was too tired to argue with that.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Content warnings** : no one gets pregnant in the fic, but it’s a world where mpreg still happens, which might be not your Thing / heats or ruts don’t influence anybody’s ability to consent / non-negotiated mutual masturbation; participants aren’t bothered by it / semi-public sex; Kylo uses the Force so they’re not found out / the fic is from Kylo’s POV, who’s an irredeemable jerk. the fic follows his attempts to be less of a human disaster. 
> 
> The fic was written based on headcanon sessions with [@Jeusus](http://jeusus.tumblr.com) who was not only a kind and inspiring partner in crime, but made incredible art for the fic, like wow:  
> * [Hux’s alone time on the first night](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/post/170701987768/tiniestbutt-arkanis-underwater-hotel-set-in) (NSFW)  
> * [linking pinkies in the cab](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/post/170398509963/tiniestbutt-kylo-offered-him-his-hand-expecting) and having...emotions??  
> * [full on alpha mode Kylo](http://jeusus.tumblr.com/post/171919306103/lets-do-it-kylo-said-surging-forward-hux-put) (slightly NSFW)
> 
> Our amazing beta reader was [@bioticnerfherder](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticnerfherder%0A) || my friend Anna mentioned me her headcanon that Force-users might be able to do Force-hugs, which was my inspiration for the massage scene || title from the oddly fitting [Florence + the Machine song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrd3aNXqOLo)
> 
> Find me on tumblr: [@longstoryshortikilledhim](http://longstoryshortikilledhim.tumblr.com) // there's a [moodboard](http://longstoryshortikilledhim.tumblr.com/post/170109203081/hardest-of-hearts-grand-marshal-hux-forgot-to) for the fic


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